Breaking up is hard to do, as the song goes, but one expert has some advice to make the heartbreaking situation a little easier.
Sometimes, people make the decision to split with their significant other even though there’s still a lot of love left in the relationship.
Maria Sullivan, vice president and relationships expert at Dating.com, said that it’s important to thoroughly assess everything before making any drastic moves.
Breaking up is hard to do: A relationship expert weighed in on when to know it’s time to split with your partner – even if you still love them (stock image)
When hanging out with your partner becomes more of a chore than anything, it’s time to seriously consider breaking up.
Maria told Seventeen.com: ‘If you consistently feel like you need to do something with them rather than want to do something with them, it’s likely time to consider something different.’
Time and energy is wasted thinking about trying to figure out what went wrong, but talking through the breakup with your ex will help gain closure and allow you to learn lessons that will help you in future relationships.
Maria Sullivan, relationship expert at Dating.com
Especially when there are so many feelings involved, it’s crucial to be 100 per cent honest.
‘Although it may seem hard to face these issues head on, it’ll help both of you move onto something better,’ Maria advised.
And while she doesn’t advocate for ending things over text, Maria said it’s important to use whatever mode of communication you both usually do to have a deep discussion.
So, if you’re usually found hashing things out with your significant other over the phone, don’t force an in-person meet up to break up with them.
But then again, you should only use a text breakup if it feels like the right thing for your unique circumstance.
How you breakup with someone is equally as important as when.
Maria recommended to steer clear of calling it quits around birthdays, Christmas, Valentine’s Day or other holidays in order to ‘avoid added attention and stress.’
When all is said and done, Maria admits that you likely will feel a void.
‘It’s very hard to accept any major life changes, especially the loss of someone close to you in your everyday life,’ she said.
‘The most important thing to remember is that this process takes time, but will help you grow,’ she added.
How to breakup with someone you love
Don’t break up near holidays or birthdays.
Cut off all communication for a while.
Focus on yourself and self-care to fill the void.
Give the breakup time to heal before re-assessing.
Source: Maria Sullivan, Dating.com
‘Breaking up is hard but it helps you develop personal strength; focusing on you and the love you have for yourself can benefit you for your entire lifetime.’
Lastly, cut off all communication… for now, at least.
‘Any discussion may cause you both to backtrack, play mind games and waste time.
Give the breakup the time it needs to heal, then reassess,’ she said.
If nothing else, splitting up can reaffirm that the relationship is the right thing for both of you.
‘Sometimes all that you need is to take a step back and think things through over time,’ Maria said of re-kindling.
‘If when you reminisce you still feel anything positive and/or hopeful, test the waters and reach out. You never know!’
If the shoe is on the other foot and you’re on the receiving end of the breakup, Maria advised first taking a step back and getting some space.
She offered: ‘Scale the situation and understand as much of it as you can.
‘You can’t read your ex’s mind and know for sure why they made the decision to end the relationship, but if you really want to know, you can always ask.’
‘Time and energy is wasted thinking about trying to figure out what went wrong,’ she continued. ‘But talking through the breakup with your ex will help gain closure and allow you to learn lessons that will help you in future relationships.’