How sex can make you ‘blind’: Relationship expert says sleeping with someone too early can disguise ‘red flags’ – as she reveals the biggest bedroom mistakes couples make
- Louanne Ward is an Australian-based dating expert and relationship strategist
- She claims having sex with someone distorts your reflective mind at times
- It means we don’t recognise ‘red flags’ that we might usually steer clear of
- This causes resentment in a couple’s relationship later on if it’s left untreated
A relationship coach has revealed why having sex can cause ‘blindness’ and prevent people from spotting red flags in their partner early.
Louanne Ward, who has worked as a relationship strategist in Australia for more than 25 years, describes sex as ‘one of the most beautiful expressions of emotion’ – but says it can also ‘drive ordinary people to lie and cheat’ and blind people from the truth.
‘The saying “love is blind” should really be changed to “sex is blind,”‘ she told FEMAIL.
‘When you are in the early stages of infatuation, which you believe is love, you see the person of interest very differently to how you see them five years down the line.
Louanne Ward describes sex as one of the most beautiful expressions of emotion – but can drive ordinary people to lie, cheat and even kill for the thrill
‘There is no doubt that sex causes blindness which affects our reflective mind, distorting the truth about a person.’
So what bedroom mistakes are couples making?
1. Being overwhelmed by lust early on
Often when we meet someone new we fall into a fickle phase of infatuation that can be difficult to think clearly in.
The bittersweet reality of sparks flying is that you are blinded in two destructive ways.
‘In order to be infatuated with someone you have to look up to them but anything you look up to places you beneath them,’ she said.
‘Suddenly you see more positives than negatives and become blind to their downsides which you end up resenting them for later.’
Often when we meet someone new we fall into a fickle phase of infatuation that can be difficult to think clearly in (stock image)
2. Forgetting that the chemicals released during sex are ‘blinding’
Having sex releases the chemical dopamine, a neurotransmitter associated with pleasure, and the more you share in the pleasure the stronger the addiction-like symptoms.
This makes it difficult to think rationally in a time where your mind can only think of one thing.
‘You don’t even need to be with the person. The mere thought, touch, smell or taste of a lover can deliver a hit of dopamine blinding you falsely into a relationship built on the driving forces of desire rather reality,’ she said.
3. Using sex as a tool for making up after a fight
Associating sex with argumentative behaviour can pose dire problems on your relationship.
‘Using sex as a tool for making up after an argument or to get closer when you’re feeling insecure is a great way to connect, heal and feel close,’ Louanne said.
‘But in the long run it blinds you to the deeper problem which gets swept under the carpet without resolution.’
Associating sex with argumentative behaviour can pose dire problems on your relationship, said Louanne (pictured)
4. Not having sex often enough
Without physical touch and intimacy your well-being and mental health can be affected.
‘You start to notice all the things wrong with the relationship which become difficult to recover from,’ she said.
While it doesn’t have to be a regularly scheduled event it should be something you and your partner think and talk about often.
5. Going against your moral standards
In the heat of the moment people can agree to things they wouldn’t normally agree to with a clear head.
‘This will lead to ramifications of guilt, shame, hurt feelings and unexpected, unwanted surprises,’ Louanne said.
‘The power of sex or the lack of can’t be disputed however, people don’t stop to see through the blind truth of its upsides, downsides and inside outs,’ she said.
You can follow Louanne Ward on Facebook here or view more dating tips on her website.