RICHARD LITTLEJOHN: Why the hell are we stopping migrants trying to smuggle themselves OUT of Britain?

As another 388 migrants arrived here over the weekend after crossing the Channel illegally, a Russian lorry driver was starting a prison sentence for helping foreign nationals trying to leave Britain.

Yes, you did read that correctly. Nikolai Kuznetsov, 39, was arrested at Dover attempting to board a ferry bound for France.

Border Force officers discovered 22 people of North African origin, including a five-year-old girl, stowed away in the back of his vehicle.

They were all taken into custody and, presumably, are still here, billeted in a four-star hotel somewhere. That’s unless they were immediately released into the community and have subsequently managed to make it over to France, which is all they wanted to do in the first place.

Kuznetsov was intercepted back in August and appeared before magistrates in Canterbury, Kent, last Friday. He pleaded guilty to facilitating illegal entry to an EU member state and was sentenced to four years and four months in jail.

National Crime Agency operations manager John Turner hailed the success of a job well done. ‘Kuznetsov was complicit with the people smugglers whose only concern was making money, rather than the wellbeing of those individuals found in his trailer.

‘Thankfully they were found and safeguarded, but we know organised crime groups will continue in their attempts to use migrants to make money.’

Treble Glennhoddles all round, chaps!

But hang on a minute. With the exception of the five-year-old girl — who won’t have had a say in the matter — all of those found in the back of his lorry were in there voluntarily.

They actively wanted to be smuggled out of Britain and had paid for the privilege. We’re not told how or when they arrived, or whether they had any right to be here. My guess would be no right.

Nikolai Kuznetsov, 39, was arrested at Dover attempting to board a ferry bound for France

Doesn’t really matter, though. They had chosen to leave and we had no good reason to stop them.

As for Kuznetsov, he’s obviously a crook linked to the Russian mob, or some other gang. But he, too, was attempting to leave the country.

Why was he charged with ‘facilitating illegal entry to an EU member state’? Surely that should be entirely a matter for the French, had they managed to intercept him at Calais, or wherever the ferry docked. Let him do his time in a Gallic jail, not Ford Open.

What’s it got to do with us? We’re not in the EU any more. And the French are hardly doing us many favours when it comes to preventing smuggling gangs facilitating illegal entry to the UK — despite us bunging them the thick end of £500million to stop the boats.

Since 2020, more than 100,000 have made the crossing. And, other than a symbolic handful of Albanians, they’re all still here.

That’s largely down to the concerted sabotage efforts of the taxpayer-funded yuman rites lobby, the courts, and the cowardice of the government in refusing to withdraw from the jurisdiction of European judges because of fierce opposition from politicians who place the sanctity of ‘international institutions’ above their duty to serve the best interests of the British people.

The row over the Rwanda deportation scheme kicked off in the House of Lords again today, with unelected peers — including an assortment of bishops — planning a whole series of amendments to delay the scheme for months.

But the political obstructionism is only part of the problem. The entire immigration system is a complete clustershambles. Most of us thought the job of Border Force was to stop people entering Britain illegally — not prevent them leaving.

So those of us who have been making Hotel California jokes ever since the migration crisis started have been proved right.

You can check out any time you like. But you can never leave.

We have no way of knowing if the 22 stowaways detained at Dover planned to settle in France or head home to Africa.

If it was France, the sensible thing to do would have been to load them into one of the hundreds of dinghies abandoned over the past four years, wish them a fond farewell and point them in the direction of the Pas de Calais.

Missing you already.

If getting back to Africa was their goal, we could always offer them a free one-way ticket on the first plane out to Rwanda. That’s if the House of Lords doesn’t succeed in stopping it taking off.