SAUCY SECRETS: I think my husband has given me a disgusting disease. What should I do now?

Dear Jana,

I recently started experiencing an itchy and painful groin. I went to the doctors who had a look and before even taking a swab informed me it looked like herpes. Sure enough when the test results came back that was the diagnosis. 

I have been married for 15 years and this is the first time I have had an outbreak. I asked my husband if he had been unfaithful but he assures me he has not, however when I made him go for a test his results came back positive as well. 

Now I am feeling deeply paranoid. Do you think he caught it from someone else and gave it to me?

Anonymous.  

Oh dear. I’m sorry to say if I was a betting woman, I would be placing my bets on him being up to no good.

However, just to be sure I asked a doctor friend, and they advised me that herpes can lie dormant in the body for years before a person experiences any symptoms. 

When I told the doc that you had been married for 15 years and this is the first discovery, he raised one eyebrow at me and went ‘yeeeeeah that’s a bit of a stretch, but still possible’.

I would suggest looking at other telling factors of a cheater: Has he recently updated his appearance? Working out more? Coming home late? Hiding his phone? If all seems above board then carry on with your life and put this down to an annoying health discovery.

But if I was you, I would be collecting data. Investigate a little deeper and you may just catch him out.

Dear Jana, 

I recently got into a relationship and it’s been magical, until the other night when we had a lovers tiff. I was craving validation from other men so I jumped back onto Raya. I matched with a famous singer.

He’s been my crush since the 90s so this is a big deal. My boyfriend and I have since made up but I’m still talking to the singer and entertaining the idea of having a one night stand. 

Is a hall pass acceptable when it comes to my teenage crush? I don’t know if my current boyfriend is forever and this opportunity feels too good to pass up.

Help!

Anonymous.  

Ok Anonymous, I’m going to be honest with you. There is a devil and an angel on my shoulders right now.

The angel is saying, ‘Don’t be ridiculous, shut down your Raya account, focus on your boyfriend and be a good girl’. The devil however has a mighty big megaphone and he’s screaming ‘Life is short – DO IT!’

Bad devil.

I’ve always been a ‘do it for the story’ kinda girl. So, as naughty as this may seem, I’m siding with the devil on this one.

Why? Because if you read your message there are a few things that really stand out. 

So, to a saucy one night stand I say YES. We all want that cheeky story we can relive over and over again when we are old and grey, says Jana Hocking (above) 

Firstly, the fact that you jumped straight on a dating app during a fight means you’re not completely smitten with your fella. I’ve had many tiffs with hopeless boyfriends but my heart has always been too distraught to think about dating during those times. You’re clearly not ‘all in’.

Secondly, you mention at the end of your message that ‘I don’t know if my current boyfriend is forever’ and I mean sure, you’re desperately looking for any excuse to shag your hall pass, but when you truly are head-over-heels in love you’re not looking at anyone else.

So, to a saucy one night stand I say YES. We all want that cheeky story we can relive over and over again when we are old and grey. However, you should really dump your bloke first. Why cheat when you could actually have a guilt free role in the hay? If it all goes belly up, try and win your man back.

Just make sure you wear a condom.

Dear Jana,  

I hooked up with a colleague (a fboi). I’m worried he has told someone who has now told the big boss as weird things are happening. My boss keeps asking me if I have any secrets etc. How do I handle this professionally? It was fun but I am too paranoid to do it again.

Anonymous.

Jana Hocking tells Aussies the brutal truth about their relationship conundrums

I’m going to be brutally honest: He has definitely been bragging and it’s got back to your douche bag of a boss. It sounds like your f-boy predictions were correct, but that’s not the person I would be annoyed at.

I’d be more annoyed at your boss!

I think there are two ways you can go about this. You can speak to the guy you hooked up with and ask him to tell your boss to stop asking questions – I mean he’s clearly the one that blabbed so he should be the one to have the uncomfortable conversation to clear things up.

Or, if you’re happy to set a firm boundary, I would look your boss directly in the eyes and say ‘I feel really uncomfortable with you asking me that. Can I ask why you keep asking me personal questions?’ Get him to spell it out. Spoiler alert: he won’t have the balls to do it.

He will instantly know he’s in trouble. Nothing freaks a boss out quite like the whiff of a potential HR meeting.

But seriously, if all else fails, HR’s always there for a confidential chat. They’ve seen it all and can help you navigate this workplace soap opera. Oh men, I honestly think they gossip more than us women.