It’s common knowledge that relationships can sometimes become a little stale over time but an expert has advised how to save your sex life when you’re stuck in a rut.
Adult educator and writer Jane Untamed, from Melbourne, has shared her tips on how you can keep that spark alive.
According to the expert, committing to achieving ‘mutual pleasure’ is key to avoid someone seeking it outside of marriage.
An adult educator and writer from Melbourne, Jane Untamed, has shared her tips on how you can keep that flame alight
TURN UP THE PLEASURE
Jane said that it is important not to dismiss mediocre sex or dry spells.
Research conducted by marriage dating website Ashley Madison said that female members seek extra marital affairs when their husband makes no effort to pleasure them.
‘Make turning your partner on your biggest turn on, so neither of you go looking for it outside the marriage,’ Jane said.
The study included 1,935 respondents with 78 per cent of those surveyed feeling like they’ve lost the romantic spark with their partner.
The research stated that 78 per cent of respondents put this down to sex being rare or nonexistent in their relationship.
Jane suggested that partners should shake things up and ‘explore new fantasies and fetishes’
ESCAPE THE ROUTINE
Jane suggested that partners should shake things up and ‘explore new fantasies and fetishes’.
To do this she said to not always have the same kind of sex at the same location and the same time of day.
‘Try out that scene from that movie you just watched together. Find some common kinks,’ she advised FEMAIL.
‘More and more we are becoming open to raunchier ways of expressing our sexuality – be it trying a little light bondage, attending some erotic theatre or a sexy theme party.
‘Leave your comfort zones – this can often be where the magic happens.’
When asked what would help save their marriage, 54 per cent of survey respondents said that a more lively sex life incorporating things like sex toys, role play and threesomes would help keep that romantic flame lit.
STAY HOT FOR EACH OTHER
Ashley Madison’s research also showed that women who join their website do so because they feel like they are no longer desired by their partners.
‘You might think that your spouse should already know how much you’re attracted to them but the truth is, both women and men need to hear it and feel it from their partner on a consistent basis to feel satisfied and fulfilled in a relationship,’ Jane explained.
‘Go out of your way to pay that compliment, send that sexy text, show your appreciation for that person – purely because you know how good it will make them feel.’
Ashley Madison’s research showed that women who join the website do so because they feel like they are no longer desired by their partners
MAKE THE TIME
Jane said that even though your lives may change and you may be busy you still need to make time for each other.
Over the top work schedules and responsibilities involving the kids are some of the reasons married couples lose their spark.
‘If the sex has dwindled and women feel overworked and underappreciated, this is when they are most likely to seek an emotional or physical connection in an extramarital climate,’ Jane told FEMAIL.
‘Too tired for sex? Consider changing your routine – try morning sex before the kids wake up or sneaking away for a quickie before dinner – because once you’ve eaten feeling of lethargy are known to creep in.
‘Find a way around your excuses.’
Reinvigorating date night would also be beneficial with 22 per cent of people saying quality time without the kids would do the trick, while many said that both partners worked too much.
‘Too tired for sex? Consider changing your routine – try morning sex before the kids wake up or sneaking away for a quickie before dinner,’ she advised
GO OUT AND ABOUT
Jane’s final suggestion is to make sure that you have things to talk about as a couple.
‘Go on a holiday, go to a concert, go out and do things together that will give you things to talk about.
‘Sharing experiences outside of the bedroom that create good memories to share and discuss long afterwards creates common ground again – gives you something to reconnect over.’