Self-help guru Vex King, 35, says to turn tough times into a strength

Vex king, 35, is a British self-help guru who has more than one million social media followers and whose fans include Barack Obama. He is the author of bestsellers Good Vibes, Good Life and Closer To Love. He lives in Northampton with his wife, social media star Kaushal Modha.

TURN TOUGH TIMES INTO A STRENGTH 

I didn’t have the easiest start to life. My dad died when I was six months old. Poverty, racism, violence and injustice were major themes for most of my life.

We moved around often, living in hotels, housing shelters and with family where possible. There was one occasion when we lived with my uncle, above his shop, when I saw a gang of men emptying the fridges and shelves, while my uncle stood there with a bloodied nose and a gun to his head. Thankfully, the gun wasn’t used.

It wasn’t until I picked up my first self-help book, Think And Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill, in my mid-teens that I realised our personal life story is the most valuable thing. What makes this awe-inspiring and influential is your relationship with it.

As I began delving into more inspirational books and stories, I learned that I could change my response to my circumstances by choosing the most empowering thoughts to act on.

I always had a choice, and each choice would lead to a different outcome. And so I rewired my mindset for success.

I avoided a path of drugs and trouble, unlike some of my peers, and spent my spare time producing music. I learnt basic HTML and started my own website while I was in secondary school.

When you can look back and find lessons in the pain you may have experienced, your life looks more like a hero’s journey and less like a tragedy.

The core lesson I found among adversity is that, despite a dark environment, you can be the light.

While I do not wish the same suffering I endured for the first 20 years of my life on others, I remember where I came from and what moulded me.

I offer gratitude for all the rejection and the loss that inspired me to generate my own source of love and hope — and ultimately, help others do the same.

• CLOSER To Love by Vex King is out now (£16.99, Bluebird).