Selma Blair has said she attempted suicide when she was living with the health ramifications of multiple scleorsis but had not yet been diagnosed.
The actress, 50, who was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis in August 2018, told how many symptoms manifested much earlier in her life which caused her great anxiety.
Speaking to British Vogue, she said: ‘As an adult, the lassitude and anxiety became terrifying, actually. I made mistakes. Wished myself dead. Attempted suicide. A few times. Out of desperation.’
Selma said she would often have to mask her symptoms while working on film sets and would self-medicate to help cope with pain.
She said: ‘Sets were excruciating sometimes with the exhaustion and the tics. I took benzos and Klonopin (used to prevent seizures and anxiety disorders).
Candid: Selma Blair has said she attempted suicide when she was living with the health ramifications of multiple scleorsis but had not yet been diagnosed
‘I didn’t abuse those things, just alcohol.But I was lost and sad and could hardly ever smile. Hence my roles, I imagine.’
She added: ‘I was worried since the beginning of time that a glaring fault would remove me from the workforce. And usually it was my incoordination or getting stuck, too weak or sick, in my trailer – or any time, really.’
The Legally Blonde star said she would suffer with vomiting, hair loss and rashes and was diagnosed with cat scratch fever and possible leukaemia while working on the movie Hellboy.
She later took a break from the acting industry in 2009 after filming the US remake of Kath & Kim, saying her autoimmune system was ‘misfiring’.
Selma said she would often spend her days in bed crying during this period and worried her health issues would prevent her from working again.
However, going public with her MS diagonsis brought many positives for the star, who wrote a bestselling memoir called Mean Baby in 2022.
She was also one of the few disabled contestants to take part on Dancing With The Stars, but had to withdraw during the show on health grounds.
The star said she is not looking for acting work at the moment but does believe working in movies would be ‘doable’ with her MS.
Interview: The actress, 50, who was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis in August 2018, told how many symptoms manifested much earlier in her life which caused her great anxiety
The actress was one of a number of noteable figures taking part in British Vogue’s Reframing Fashion issue which features 19 disabled talents.
Elsewhere during the interview, Selma’s friend and former co-star Christina Applegate credited Selma with telling her to get tested for MS.
Christina, who was diagnosed with the condition in 2021, said Selma told her to get tested for MS immediately after she mentioned she had a strange tingling in her feet.
Christina added that she will now have a ‘better quality of life’ because of Selma.
Health: Before her diagnosis, Selma would suffer with vomiting, hair loss and rashes and was diagnosed with cat scratch fever and possible leukaemia while working on the movie Hellboy (pictured in Hellboy, 2008)
Hiatus: She later took a break from the acting industry in 2009 after filming the US remake of Kath & Kim, saying her autoimmune system was ‘misfiring’ (pictured in 2022)
Selma’s candid interview comes after she previously told how she tried to take her own life in college after her boyfriend broke up with her, saying she swallowed a bottle of Tylenol and chased it with tequila while hiding in his closet.
The actress has detailed her painful past and her decades-long struggle with alcoholism in Mean Baby: A Memoir of Growing Up.
Selma said she dated her physical education horse trainer, Todd, but didn’t know how to handle the end of their relationship. After he broke up with her, she waited until he was asleep and went into his closet.
She tried taking her own life by swallowing a bottle of Tylenol and chasing it with tequila, but she changed her mind right before she was about to pass out.
Support: Selma’s friend and former co-star Christina Applegate credited Selma with telling her to get tested for MS (Christina pictured in February 2023)
Career: Selma said she is not looking for acting work at the moment but does believe working in movies would be ‘doable’ with her MS (pictured with her support dog, Scout)
In a panic, she woke up Todd and explained what she had done. His mother lived upstairs, and she was the one who called poison control and took her to the hospital.
Selma said she had promised her mother as a child that she would tell her if life became unbearable for her. When she revealed that she tried to kill herself, she expected words of wisdom. Instead, her mother told her she was dead to her.
‘It’s the worst thing she did to me. I know I broke her trust,’ she told Elle magazine of her late mother, who died in 2020.
‘I had tried to kill myself — even if it was only for ten minutes. As outlandish and critical as she was, she would never get over one of us dying, especially by our own hand. I was dead to her for two years — either as punishment or perhaps she was bracing herself for the next time.’
See the full feature in the May issue of British available via digital download and on newsstands from Tuesday 25th April.
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