A reformed sex addict who slept with more than 700 men has revealed how she hit rock bottom when a partner turned violent during a terrifying encounter – and she now runs empowerment ‘bootcamps’ to help others beat their addiction.
Belinda ‘Love’ Rygier, a former Bachelor contestant, also confessed her wild lifestyle put a strain on her friendships because she would ditch her mates on nights out so she could have casual sex – and even tried to hook up at her local supermarket.
Speaking to Daily Mail Australia, Ms Rygier said her out-of-control addiction came to a head when one of these men became abusive, but was later told she couldn’t press charges because she had ‘scratched’ the man while defending herself.
‘When he pushed me down the stairs and locked me in the garage, I had a black eye and they thought my hand was broken,’ she recalled of that dreadful night.
Reformed sex addict Belinda ‘Love’ Rygier (pictured), who slept with more than 700 men, has revealed how she hit rock bottom when a partner turned violent during a terrifying encounter
‘It was pretty bad. I went to work and they sent me home. The police came and they said because he had a scratch on his arm from my ring, after I tried to get him off me, we could both go to jail for domestic violence,’ she added.
Ms Rygier said the incident marked a turning point and encouraged her to unpack her emotions, along with her perceptions of love and sex.
This journey led to her launching her own healing bootcamps, where she teaches self-esteem and how to establish healthy, respectful relationships.
Ms Rygier, a former Bachelor contestant, said her wild lifestyle put a strain on her friendships because she would ditch her mates on nights out so she could have casual sex
‘That was my turning point. I thought, “I have to help myself.” That’s where the journey began, and it was a very quick transformation. Once you decide [to change], it happens very quickly.’
The TV star and sex educator started counselling and self-development work in order to better understand the psychology behind her compulsive behaviour.
‘Having a coach that called me out and held me accountable made me dig deep. I didn’t ever know I had sex addiction until I healed my trauma,’ she said.
As she followed the road to recovery, Ms Rygier did some some serious soul-searching as she worked through her complicated childhood and avoidant-attachment personality.
Speaking to Daily Mail Australia, Ms Rygier said her out-of-control addiction came to a head when one of her partners became abusive, but was later told she couldn’t press charges because she had ‘scratched’ the man while defending herself
Reflecting on her years of active addiction, she confessed sex ‘was constantly at the top of my mind’, even when she was at the supermarket.
‘I would be grocery shopping and would think to myself, “Oh, I wonder if he would be interested?”‘ she said.
However, the majority of her conquests were men – and occasionally women – that she would find at bars and nightclubs on nights out.
Her tunnel vision sometimes upset her friends, as she would ‘ditch’ them while out clubbing as soon as she decided to hook up.
‘I was never self-aware. The minute I was out, I was like, “Where’s a hot guy?”
‘Sex is the only addiction I fell for because it was making me feel loved. Love is really what I lacked in my life.’
Reflecting on her years of active addiction, she confessed sex ‘was constantly at the top of my mind’, even when she was at the supermarket. However, the majority of her conquests were men – and occasionally women – that she would find at bars and nightclubs on nights out. (Ms Rygier, front row, centre, is pictured as a contestant on The Bachelor Australia)
Looking back on the way her life used to be, Ms Rygier said one of her biggest regrets was being the ‘other woman in a relationship’.
She was a ‘mistress a couple of times’ and at the time found the idea of a man ‘willing to ruin his marriage to be with me’ quite thrilling.
‘That is one thing I am not proud of,’ she confessed, adding that these men usually ended up leaving their wives anyway ‘for other reasons’.
‘When things are driving you so badly, you’re willing to hurt other people. That was probably my lowest point,’ she said of these affairs.
Looking back on the way her life used to be, Ms Rygier (pictured on The Bachelor Australia) said one of her biggest regrets was being the ‘other woman in a relationship’
One habit Ms Rygier has observed in many people – and sex addicts in particular – is the belief that love is a ‘competition’ or a ‘challenge’ that must be won.
This toxic attitude is one of the reasons why she is so determined to continue her work promoting healing and recovery – despite the trolling and hate mail she receives as a woman who speaks openly about her sex addiction.
‘The judgement and the trolling and the hate you get for being honest about the addiction is endless,’ she said.
Her openness about her old life has encouraged men to send her lewd photos and ask for sex, and she often receives unsolicited messages detailing ‘really unusual fantasies’.
For those struggling with sex or porn addiction, Ms Rygier said understanding your own defects of character and relationship style is crucial.
‘You have to heal the hurt, love yourself, understand your attachment style and love language to heal,’ she said of the lessons she teaches at her bootcamps.
‘The transformations I get for clients are phenomenal,’ she continued.
‘They go from a place of “no one will ever love me, I’m unattractive” to getting married and having babies within a year.’
Ms Rygier (left, with a friend) now runs bootcamps to help clients transform from ‘trauma to order’ so they can form healthy, respectful relationships