Sex experts answer the racy questions most people are too embarrassed to ask

You go to nutritionists for questions about your diet and stylists for questions about your clothes, but who do you go to for questions about sex?

‘Sexperts’ is the umbrella term used to describe anyone who has a particular expertise in sex.

A sexpert can be any kind of sexual health educator including a sexologist, sex therapist or sex psychologist.   

While they’re equipped to answer any of your sensual-leaning queries from kinks to fetishes, some of them already have a pretty good idea of what you want to know.

Why? Because they get loads of questions every single day.

Here are some of the most common questions sexperts get asked – and exactly how they choose to answer them. 

Is it normal for my sex drive to change all the time?

Sam MacQuoid, intimacy and relationship expert at COEDStore, told the Daily Mail the majority of her job as a sex therapist includes helping clients understand their natural feelings and have a fulfilling sex life.

Her patients often ask about their own sex drives.  

‘I explain that variability in sexual desire is entirely natural and is influenced by factors like stress, changes in lifestyle and even the ebb and flow of our emotional connection with our partner,’ she said. 

She’ll ask people to focus on open communication and compassion, rather than viewing these changes as problematic.

Times of lower libido can be used as opportunities ‘to improve the intimacy and explore new things your relationship,’ MacQuoid said. 

Sex therapist Sam MacQuoid said clients often ask her about changes to their sex drive (stock image)

What if I really like someone, but the sex is not good?

It’s rare to find someone you genuinely connect with, and it’s even more rare to find someone you’re sexually compatible with on top of that. 

This is why love coach Nicole Moore told the Daily Mail so many people ask her what to do when they like someone but find the sex less than satisfying.  

‘I always tell clients that the very thing you don’t want to do – talk about sex – is the thing that can make it dramatically better,’ Moore said. 

‘Many people worry that bringing up what they’d like to improve about their sex life will hurt their partner’s feelings, but the truth is your partner wants you to be enjoying sex with them as much as possible.’

She explained that you can begin the conversation with the positives first, and preface that intimacy-related communication is something you’re working on.

‘If you make the conversation about you and your own growth rather than your partner being deficient, they are way more likely to be open and not on the defensive,’ Moore explained.

She said it’s key to be clear and direct about what feels good to you, and ask them if they’re open to trying things that would make sex better for the both of you. 

Chances are, your partner will listen and your sex life will improve over time. 

‘Now, if you’ve communicated your desires clearly to your partner over months or years and things still aren’t changing, then you likely need to leave the relationship if having a great sex life is a priority for you,’ she said. 

Having sex with someone who isn’t a romantic partner often brings up questions of exclusivity (stock image)

When is the right time to have the ‘exclusivity’ talk?

Sex isn’t always done with someone you’re in a relationship with.

So if you’re hooking up with someone that’s not your romantic partner, a big question may be, ‘when can we stop sleeping with other people?’

Dr. Mindy DeSeta, PhD, a sexologist and sexuality educator at the dating app Hily said that this can feel extremely vulnerable.  

‘Many people hesitate to be the first to bring up monogamy, worried about perfect timing or potential rejection,’ she said. 

But suggested that authentic relationships thrive on open communication – not strategic timing. 

‘Once you know what you desire with this person, share that with them,’ she said. 

‘Pro tip: Make sure you both define monogamy the same way.’

How do I orgasm through penetration?

Certified sex educator, relationship coach, resident sexologist at Biird Suzannah Weiss said that when women ask her this question, she often recommends fingering or toys to begin experimentation. 

‘Some women can orgasm through G-spot stimulation, which can be enjoyed when a partner curves their fingers upward in a come-hither motion and stimulates the upper wall of the vagina,’ she said. 

‘This is easiest and most comfortable when you are very aroused, potentially by receiving clitoral stimulation first.’

She also said that different positions can help with this – usually from behind and on their stomach, or while on top. 

But Weiss said that being on top and orgasming through penetration may feel less explosive than a clitoral orgasm.  

‘This does not mean it doesn’t count,’ she said. 

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Read more at DailyMail.co.uk