Sexperts reveals the common intimate acts that wreck relationships – and the surprising ones that can save a failing marriage

It is a subject many people may feel uncomfortable reading about.

Some reading this may believe intercourse between heterosexual couples that doesn’t involve the vagina is extreme or, to put it delicately, extremely niche. 

But the pressure of exploring new intimate acts, like anal sex, could be putting a strain on your love life or even prove a relationship deal breaker, according to sexual health experts.

MailOnline quizzed three experts on the adventurous habits Brits should avoid to prevent wrecking their relationship. 

One, however, could take ‘relationships to a whole new level’. 

Cindy Gallop, campaigner and founder of MakeLoveNotPorn — a platform squashing the myths of hardcore pornography — told MailOnline that asking ‘for something the other person doesn’t want to do’, typically anal sex, is often to blame. 

‘Worse still, then going on an on about it’, she added. 

‘Men want anal sex. But you don’t get to have anal sex when your partner doesn’t want to try it. 

‘You also don’t get it by begging her, insisting “everybody else is doing it” or sending her porn videos.’

The intimate act can mean anything from external touching to penetrative anal sex with a finger, sex toy or penis. 

Instead, Ms Gallop advised partners to ‘focus on her pleasure’.

She told MailOnline: ‘Make every bedroom session about her orgasms, in every creative way you can. 

‘Ensure that the sex you’re having is all about her, and giving her such a good time, that she will be increasingly open to wanting to explore new experiences together.

‘This is also important because first-time anal sex is something that needs to be worked up to.’

According to Ms Gallop, one sexual behaviour, conversely, could prove ‘transformative for relationships’ — filming. 

‘I can tell you from eleven years of testimonials, that interestingly, filming your own real world sex is transformative for relationships and couple bonding — for several reasons,’ she said. 

‘When you decide to film yourselves having sex, you have to talk about it.

‘When you talk about it, no matter how long you’ve been together — the conversation can go places it’s never gone before. 

‘Couples write to us and tell us, we thought we were open, but doing this took our relationship to a whole new level.’

Ms Gallop also told MailOnline: ‘Nothing is a turn-off when you are with someone in a sexual relationship of mutual trust and respect — which can be a casual relationship, as much as a committed one.

‘Unfortunately, something can be a turn-off when you’ve been acculturated to believe it’s “wrong”. 

‘For too many people that applies to sex itself in totality.’  

Sex, and intimacy more generally, has been linked to a string of health benefits, including improving the condition of your heart, reducing stress and even boosting mental health. 

But recent trends show prudish Brits aren’t having as much sex as they used to. 

According to a Royal College of Occupational Therapists (RCOT) poll of 2,000  adults earlier this year, men and women typically romp just 46 times a year — once every eight days. 

Research published this week also found nationally, just 55 per cent of Brits reported having sex at least one a week — 59 per cent of men and 51 per cent of women. 

Londoners were far above the national average, with 67 per cent reporting enjoying an amorous encounter at least once a week.

Other experts, however, cautioned there were no single specific ‘mistakes’ Brits were making in the bedroom that can automatically wreck relationships.

Annabelle Knight, a sex and relationships expert at Lovehoney told MailOnline: ‘One of the biggest mistakes people might be making make in the bedroom is thinking there’s a “right” way to have sex. 

Nationally 55 per cent of Brits reported having sex at least one a week, this rising to 59 per cent of men and falling to 51 per cent of women

‘It’s easy to get caught up in worrying about performance or whether you’re doing something “wrong”, but remember sex is all about connection and pleasure.

Relationship coach Katie Flowers also added: ‘The reality is more nuanced. 

‘Acts that tend to become problematic are those where one partner’s needs or boundaries are ignored. 

‘It’s not the act itself that’s the issue, but rather the lack of communication and understanding. 

‘When intimacy becomes a one-sided experience, where one partner’s needs take precedence over the other’s comfort or enjoyment, it can lead to disconnection.’

Equally, there really is no such thing as a standard sex life, experts claim. 

‘There’s also a lot of pressure out there to have more sex, but honestly, it’s all about quality over quantity, Ms Knight noted. 

‘Communication is key — if you’re not talking about what feels good or what you want, you’re missing out on a huge part of the experience.

‘There isn’t a magic number when it comes to how much sex is too much. It really depends on the individuals involved and what feels right for them. 

‘Some couples are perfectly happy with sex once a week, while others might want it more often — or less.’ 

She added: ‘Acts of selfishness are a sure-fire way to harm a relationship.

‘If you are only thinking about yourself when it comes to sex, and not taking into consideration the pleasure of your partner, then your intimacy could break down.

‘Skipping “foreplay” and heading straight to penetration can also be a turnoff, although this is more common than we might think.’