Single Aussie tradie, 27, complains about the ‘disgusting’ and terrifying truth about dating in 2023: ‘This is my message to all men’

A single tradie was ‘appalled’ and ‘disgusted’ to discover the traumatic encounters some women have faced when dating. 

Dylan Barnett, from Brisbane, recently started dating again and found ‘every second woman’ he met had been abused in some way. 

‘I had no f***ing idea that this was going on. This is a failure of most men in the dating world,’ the 27-year-old said in a now-viral TikTok video.

Dylan was so shocked by other men’s vile behaviour that he was inspired to create the emotional clip to raise awareness and speak up. 

‘My message [to men] still remains the same – understand what is right and wrong, and respect boundaries,’ he told FEMAIL.

While Dylan Barnett knew domestic and physical abuse was an issue, he had no idea how many women had experienced some form of trauma before. So he decided to speak up  

Dylan said currently among singles there appears to be a lot of ‘distrust, fear of connection and a whole world of hurt’. 

‘Some women are scared to even go out on a date at night. I’ve heard some shocking first date stories. Their walls are up like you would not believe,’ he said.

‘Your intentions are always being questioned which is understandable. 

‘These days a cute movie date is not on the cards anymore. It is an assumption that there is only one thing you want.’ 

'I had no f***ing idea that this was going on. This is a failure of most men in the dating world,' the 27-year-old said in a now-viral TikTok video, adding: 'I'm not saying this to suck up to women. I'm saying this as a human being and a real man, I don't condone any of that f***ing behaviour whatsoever'

‘I had no f***ing idea that this was going on. This is a failure of most men in the dating world,’ the 27-year-old said in a now-viral TikTok video, adding: ‘I’m not saying this to suck up to women. I’m saying this as a human being and a real man, I don’t condone any of that f***ing behaviour whatsoever’

Dylan continued: ‘You know what really shocked me being back in the dating world?

‘Every second woman I’ve met has been physically abused before. Every second woman I’ve met has been sexually abused before.

‘And every second woman I’ve met has been on a date where they were expected to do a sexual act and it has resulted in aggression towards them.

‘I had no f***ing idea that this was going on. This is a failure of most men in the dating world.

‘Some of the stuff that I have been told men do and what men write is absolutely disgusting. Coming from a male, I am absolutely appalled at some of the other men’s behaviour.

‘I’m not saying this to suck up to women. I’m saying this as a human being and a real man, I don’t condone any of that f***ing behaviour whatsoever.

‘I think it’s absolutely disgusting.’

'My message [to men] still remains the same - understand what is right and wrong, and respect boundaries,' he told FEMAIL

‘My message [to men] still remains the same – understand what is right and wrong, and respect boundaries,’ he told FEMAIL

The emotional clip has since been viewed more than 439,000 times and received hundreds of comments.

But while he was flooded with support, he was also bombarded with message requests from men who say he’s ‘incorrect’. 

‘I actually had to turn my turn my message requests off on all platforms and put all my comments on filter,’ he said. 

‘I deleted numerous comments as I feel like they may have been triggering towards my TikTok community.

‘I understand my video put me in a very vulnerable place, even walking around town on the Saturday night. But it truly is what I believe in and I’ve got to put myself on the line.’ 

At one point he even considered deleting the video. 

The positive comments from others and his strong message made it worthwhile.  

‘With 67 women deceased due to domestic violence this year alone – thank you for standing up for your mum,’ one wrote. 

‘As a mum of two boys – thank you. Your mumma raised you right,’ another said. 

‘Mate, you’re a rare treasure. Bless you,’ a third added. 

Someone else said: ‘This is exactly what we need from our men. Stand up, speak up.’

‘The more who stand in front as they grow or witness, the better this world will become,’ another wrote. 

One more added: ‘We need to advocate for one another. Well done you should be proud.’

An estimated eight million Australians (41 per cent) have experienced violence (physical and/or sexual) since the age of 15, according to the Australian Bureau of Statistics. 

From 2021 to 2022, one in four women (23 per cent) have experienced violence by an intimate partner compared to one in 14 men (7.3 per cent). 

WHERE TO FIND HELP:

Lifeline 13 11 14 

National Sexual Assault, Domestic Violence Counselling Service 24-hour helpline 1800 RESPECT – 1800 737 732

24-hour Emergency Accommodation helpline – 1800 800 588

Safe At Home helpline – 1800 633 937

National Violence and Abuse Trauma Counselling and Recovery Service — 1800 FULLSTOP (1800 385 578). They also have a specific line for the LGBTIQA+ community called the Rainbow Sexual, Domestic and Family Violence Helpline on 1800 497 212

SHE (free and confidential counselling and support) – 6278 9090

Sexual Assault Support Services – 6231 1811, or after hours 6231 1817

Family Violence Crisis and Support Service – 1800 608 122

Bravehearts – Sexual Assault Support for Children – 1800 BRAVE 1

Men who have anger, relationship or parenting issues, should contact the Men’s Referral Service on 1300 766 491 or the Don’t Become That Man helpline on 1300 243 413

Kids Helpline is for young people aged 5 to 25 – 1800 551 800 

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