Q My 16-year-old daughter, like many her age, lacks confidence and is prone to low moods.
She has always been a bit anxious and inclined to worrying what her friends think, especially about her hair and whether her thighs look fat. (I think they are absolutely normal, but who am I to say!)
We try to avoid talking about body image and encourage healthy eating as a family, and she does some sport at school.
But for about a year I have been aware that she spends a lot of time on ‘image focused’ social media sites — following friends, parties, clothes.
I seriously wonder about the impact this has on how she feels about herself. How can I help her get a sense of perspective?
British teens average around three hours a day on social media. A 2021 survey by Statista found 87 per cent of 16-year-olds have their own social media profile. Stock image used
A Many of us have a bit of a love/hate relationship with social media. I am active on Instagram, where I provide recipes and share healthy eating tips with others, and I have found this to be a positive experience.
But as we know, social media can also be toxic. When my kids were teenagers, they were bombarded with hundreds of images every day, many created by influencers and celebrities, which make us feel inadequate.
British teens average around three hours a day on social media. A 2021 survey by Statista found 87 per cent of 16-year-olds have their own social media profile.
What I found rather shocking, was this same survey found that almost 25 per cent of children aged three to four also had their own social media profile.
According to Statista, the most popular site, particularly for teenage girls, is TikTok, followed by Snapchat.
So what can you do to help your daughter? New research shows that if you can persuade teenagers to reduce their social media use, this will significantly improve how they feel about themselves.
A recent study by a team from the Children’s Hospital of Eastern Ontario Research Institute tracked phone usage by 220 young people aged 17 to 25.
Just before writing this I left some shopping on the counter in a shop and the assistant kindly ran out to give it to me. While the news is full of terrible stories, a new study has shown that we are surprisingly good at performing small acts of kindness. Research by UCLA sociologist Giovanni Rossi shows that people are considerate in response to signals from others needing small acts of assistance. Rossi and his team found that people were seven times more likely to help, rather than ignoring a request. Humans are generous and giving by nature. Which I think is heart-warming.
Some of them were asked to reduce their social media use by half. Encouragingly, after just three weeks, the young people who had cut their use of social media reported feeling much better about their appearance. So even a short time reduction can have a beneficial impact.
Share the new research with your daughter and see if she would try restricting her use for a few weeks. She might dump feeds that make her feel bad or set a time limit. If that’s difficult, she could use an app to set limits.
Add a weekly social media-free day. Suggest not using it before bed, as well as turning off notifications at night.
Show how much you appreciate your daughter and her character rather than commenting on her shape or clothes. Chat about how she feels when she reduces time on social media.
Help her plan fun, creative offline activities, prioritise family time and make more arrangements to see friends.
Express your concern, stay calm and be supportive.
Show how much you appreciate your daughter and her character rather than commenting on her shape or clothes. Stock image used
A recent study by a team from the Children’s Hospital of Eastern Ontario Research Institute tracked phone usage by 220 young people aged 17 to 25. Stock image used
Put a cheese board on your menu
Do you finish supper with something sweet? For the health of our teeth, we might do better to have dessert first and follow with the cheese course instead.
A dentist friend said we should abandon the French way of eating cheese, then pudding.
The sugar in dessert is converted into acids, damaging tooth enamel. In contrast, with cheese being more alkali, it can help neutralise the acid.
I love a cheese board. Now I have an excuse.
The sugar in dessert is converted into acids, damaging tooth enamel. In contrast, with cheese being more alkali, it can help neutralise the acid. Stock image used
You can write to Clare at drclarebailey@dailymail.co.uk or Daily Mail, Northcliffe House, 2 Derry Street, London W8 5TT.
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