Succession’s Kieran Culkin recounts awkward appearance on SNL at age NINE in hosting debut

Kieran Culkin made his hosting debut on Saturday Night Live over the weekend, though he revealed in his opening monologue that he wasn’t exactly a newcomer to the iconic comedy series.

The 39-year-old Succession star shared that he’d previously been on the show when he was only nine as he struggled with his jealously over his brother Macaulay Culkin’s hosting gig.

His episode also featured a surprise guest appearance from legendary diva Dionne Warwick, who joined in on a surreal duet with herself (played by Ego Nwodim). 

Twinning: His episode also featured a surprise guest appearance from legendary diva Dionne Warwick, who joined in on a surreal duet with herself (played by Ego Nwodim)

In his monologue, Kiernan told the audience that he’d appeared in three sketches during his childhood appearance, ‘two of which are non-problematic.’

He joked about being ‘weirdly jealous’ of his brother after Macaulay got hoisted in the air by Phil Hartman during the closing farewell.

The younger actor wanted the same place in the spotlight as his older brother.

‘Me! I want uppies!’ he remembered thinking, but luckily SNL veteran Kevin Nealon was willing to hold him up in the air awkwardly.

Instead of putting him on his shoulder like Phil did, he just held him up by the armpits in front of his face. 

Left out: He joked about being ‘weirdly jealous’ of his brother after Macaulay got hoisted in the air by Phil Hartman during the closing farewell

Making his mark: ‘Me! I want uppies!’ he remembered thinking, but luckily SNL veteran Kevin Nealon was willing to hold him up in the air awkwardly

Kieran joked that the weird mugging he did by sticking out his lower lip just looked like he was doing a Robert De Niro impression. 

‘I wanted to show that clip for two reasons,’ Kieran said. ‘One, in the hopes that someone from the cast will pick me up again at the end of the show. And, two, because I have waited 30 years to be back on this stage and say, “We’ve got a great show for you tonight!”‘

Earlier in the week, Kieran revealed on The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon that he’d had another awkward interaction with Kevin.

After his mother had tried to suck up to the comic by saying he was Kieran’s favorite cast member, the nine-year-old corrected her.

‘He’s my second favorite, Dana Carvey is my favorite,’ he said to Kevin’s face, though the comedian was still gracious about coming in second.

Repeat performance: ‘I wanted to show that clip for two reasons,’ Kieran said. ‘One, in the hopes that someone from the cast will pick me up again at the end of the show,’ he joked

His turn: ‘And, two, because I have waited 30 years to be back on this stage and say, “We’ve got a great show for you tonight!”‘

The show didn’t feature as many guest cameos as recent episodes, but Dionne Warwick, 80, made a surprise appearance on the Ego Nwodim–hosted segment The Dionne Warwick Show. 

The real-life Dionne was Ego’s final guest of the segment, and she appeared in a similarly sparkly black outfit, though she had her hair dyed blond. 

‘Dionne, why are you perfect?’ Ego asked the real singer.

‘My darling, I am not perfect. I’m just very, very good,’ she replied, before the two sang What The World Needs Now Is Love together. 

Ego started the sketch by introducing Miley Cyrus, played by Chloe Fineman. 

Special guest: The show didn’t feature as many guest cameos as recent episodes, but Dionne Warwick, 80, made a surprise appearance on the Ego Nwodim–hosted segment The Dionne Warwick Show

Duet: ‘Dionne, why are you perfect?’ Ego asked the real singer. ‘My darling, I am not perfect. I’m just very, very good,’ she replied, before the two sang

Nailed it: Ego started the sketch by introducing Miley Cyrus, played by Chloe Fineman

Off topic: Chloe affected Miley’s deep voice, but instead of questions about herself, Ego just asked about other celebrities. ‘Tell me, Miley: Doja Cat — is that a singer or a Pokemon?’ she asked

Chloe affected Miley’s deep voice, but instead of questions about herself, Ego just asked about other celebrities. 

‘Tell me, Miley: Doja Cat — is that a singer or a Pokemon?’ she asked.

Then she brought on a doctor (Andrew Dismukes) to give her a Covid-19 booster shot while she sang a song, but she got so wrapped up in her singing that he couldn’t even give her the jab.

‘I didn’t feel a thing!’ she joked afterward.

Kieran was back as her next guest, singer Jason Mraz. 

Has-been: Kieran was back as her next guest, singer Jason Mraz. ‘This man is not famous anymore. He does not have any songs out,’ she said in a perfect deadpan

Surprise! The evening’s musical guest Ed Sheeran was her next guest

Disappointing: She only asked him about his upcoming Ted Lasso soundtrack contribution and if she could access Apple TV+ on her ‘Dell computer.’

‘This man is not famous anymore. He does not have any songs out,’ she said in a perfect deadpan. ‘Please welcome Jason Mraz.’

Kieran was dressed as the singer with a tiny trilby hat, which she poked fun at.

‘I was actually born with it,’ joked the Succession star.  

The evening’s musical guest Ed Sheeran was her next guest, but she only asked him about his upcoming Ted Lasso soundtrack contribution and if she could access Apple TV+ on her ‘Dell computer.’

Pete Davidson also made a brief appearance as a bearded Post Malone, but Ego’s version of Dionne was so repulsed by his appearance that she instantly sent him away. 

Exasperating: Kieran’s first sketch of the show found him playing a man trying to cancel his cable subscription. He got on the phone with a Spectrum representative played by Mikey Day, who tried to sell him on a new land line even though he was moving out

True to life, he was transferred to another representative who asked his security question: ‘What city did your mother lose her virginity in?’

Bizarre: Kieran kept getting transferred, including a detour to a Domino’s Pizza shop, before speaking to a giant floating head, played by Bowen Yang

Kieran’s first sketch of the show found him playing a man trying to cancel his cable subscription.

He got on the phone with a Spectrum representative played by Mikey Day, who tried to sell him on a new land line even though he was moving out.

After Kieran shared that he’d had a break up, the representative pried into it.

‘Oh no! I’m so sorry your relationship fell apart, Mr. Herman,’ he said. ‘May I ask the cause of the breakup?’

True to life, he was transferred to another representative who asked him for a number that only appeared on his first bill from six years before.

When he couldn’t recall it, she asked him, ‘What city did your mother lose her virginity in?’ 

Kieran kept getting transferred, including a detour to a Domino’s Pizza shop, before speaking to a giant floating head, played by Bowen Yang.

‘I am Spectrum. The source. The Nexus. The provider!’ he said in a creepy booming voice.

But instead of canceling his subscription, he just sent a cable guy (Kenan Thompson) to install a new landline.

Eerie: ‘I am Spectrum. The source. The Nexus. The provider!’ he said in a creepy booming voice

Upcharged: But instead of canceling his subscription, he just sent a cable guy (Kenan Thompson) to install a new landline

Kieran was back again in the next sketch, a pre-taped parody of heist films.

He played the mastermind staying back from the action while Chris Redd played a thief breaking into an underground vault filled with sports cars.

Heidi Gardner played a Russian buyer looking to purchase the good, while Mikey Day played the hacker who opened the vault.

Chris was supposed to be stealing a vintage Lamborghini, but he ran into a problem with it’s confusing setup.

‘I’m looking at three pedals, a shifter that goes up, down, and sideways,’ he said as he struggled to start the car. ‘This must be some new tech, I’m thinking. Military, maybe?’

Kieran and the others exasperatedly informed him that it was a stick shift.

They tried to talk him through how to get it moving, but it was like a foreign language.

‘You want me to drive with two feet? Who do you think I am? Fred Flintstein [sic]?’ he said.

Chris got the car moving at a start–stop pace, only to get stuck between the massive sliding doors just as he was about to drive away.

Heist movie: Kieran was back again in the next sketch, a pre-taped parody of heist films. He played the mastermind staying back from the action while Chris Redd played a thief breaking into an underground vault filled with sports cars

Team assembled: Heidi Gardner played a Russian buyer looking to purchase the good, while Mikey Day played the hacker who opened the vault

Confused: ‘I’m looking at three pedals, a shifter that goes up, down, and sideways,’ he said as he struggled to start the car. ‘This must be some new tech, I’m thinking. Military, maybe?’

Out of his league: Kieran and the others exasperatedly informed him that it was a stick shift. ‘You want me to drive with two feet? Who do you think I am? Fred Flintstein [sic]?’ he said

Kieran returned for the next live sketch, in which he joined Chris Redd and Bowen Yang as employees at an office visiting the men’s restroom.

The found themselves fighting the urge to ‘bro down’ while chatting with their coworkers at the urinals.

‘You know what I always say: Boss man does what the boss man always does,’ Bowen said as he bid farewell to Chris.

But then the lights dimmed and he spoke in an aside to the camera: ‘I’ve never said that in my life. Why am I saying that? I’m not the boss. So why did he laugh? Why did I laugh?’

In his own aside, Chris wondered why he always felt compelled to speak so loudly in the men’s room, and why he’d adopted the catchphrase: ‘Football is crazy!’ 

Putting on a show: The male cast members found themselves fighting the urge to ‘bro down’ while chatting with their coworkers at the urinals in the next sketch

Inner monologue: In an aside, Chris wondered why he always felt compelled to speak so loudly in the men’s room, and why he’d adopted the catchphrase: ‘Football is crazy!’

That escalated quickly: ‘I killed a man in 2012,’ admitted in a frightening speech. ‘I didn’t even do a good job hiding the body. But I still got away with it’

Kieran was the next person at the urinals, but he worried he’d made a poor choice.

‘Why did I choose the urinal right next to him?’ he thought.

The sketch took a dark, surreal turn after an executive played by Alex Moffat broke into his own interior monologue.

‘I killed a man in 2012,’ he admitted to shocked laughter. ‘I didn’t even do a good job hiding the body. But I still got away with it. 

‘Although I’m a free man, the guilt I carry is worse than any cell,’ he continued in a sinister voice. ‘But in here, I forget who I am and what I’ve done. I love the men’s room. Don’t you guys love it in here?’

SNL veteran Tracy Morgan capped off the sketch with a surprise appearance as he exited a stall.

‘Trust me, you don’t want to go in there,’ he said, before turning to see Alex.

‘This dude killed my brother,’ he shouted.

Familiar face: SNL veteran Tracy Morgan capped off the sketch with a surprise appearance as he exited a stall. ‘Trust me, you don’t want to go in there,’ he said, before turning to see Alex

Nailed him: ‘This dude killed my brother,’ he shouted

Kieran led the next bizarre pre-taped sketch, with opened with Mikey Day fuming after the jockey who was going to ride his horse in a race broke his leg.

Chris played a stable worker who knew just who could fill in for him.

Kieran then appeared as a Tony Hawk–like skateboarder who had accidentally taken too high a jump, only to land on a horse and realize that he could ride it just like his skateboard.

He galloped to the front of the pack and even tried out some tricks, like grinding his horse against the fence.

But his dreams were dashed after the horse trampled him when he worried allowed that it would be turned into glue after he left for college. 

Derailed: Kieran led the next bizarre pre-taped sketch, with opened with Mikey Day fuming after the jockey who was going to ride his horse in a race broke his leg

Problem solved: Chris played a stable worker who knew just who could fill in for him

Whatever works: Kieran then appeared as a Tony Hawk–like skateboarder who had accidentally taken too high a jump, only to land on a horse and realize that he could ride it just like his skateboard

Sick tricks: He galloped to the front of the pack and even tried out some tricks, like grinding his horse against the fence

Ed Sheeran made his first musical performance of the night as he sang Shivers.

The pop star put on a more stripped-down performance than many guests as he played his acoustic guitar.

He eschewed flashy outfits and just stuck to a simple red sweater. 

Low key: Ed Sheeran made his first musical performance of the night as he sang Shivers. The pop star put on a more stripped-down performance than many guests as he played his acoustic guitar

The next sketch featured Kenan and Cecily Strong playing the anchors of a local news show in Rhode Island.

After checking in with their correspondent (Punkie Johnson) who was interviewing Boy Scouts cleaning up a beach, they turned the show over to the weather man (Kiernan).

He was dressed as a turkey with a ridiculous hat and launched into a rap he’d written to commemorate temperatures dropping below 40°F.

But he was suddenly muted as an emergency warning broadcast starting blaring, alerting residents to a devastating storm on the way.

‘May God have mercy on your souls,’ it concluded.

Wake Up Rhode Island: The next sketch featured Kenan and Cecily Strong playing the anchors of a local news show in Rhode Island

Human interest: After checking in with their correspondent (Punkie Johnson) who was interviewing Boy Scouts cleaning up a beach, they turned the show over to the weather man (Kiernan)

Bad timing: He was dressed as a turkey with a ridiculous hat and launched into a rap he’d written about the new season, but he was muted as a warning of a life-threatening storm began to play

The weather man admitted he was a ‘little behind’ after staying up all night to work on his costume and the rap instead of paying attention to the forecast.

‘Yeah, this is a big one. I should have caught that,’ he admitted.

Even as he tried to get serious, graphics of his body pasted on a turkey that he had pre-programmed started to pop up around the image of a massive storm heading toward Rhode Island.

Cecily checked back with the correspondent just before closing the segment to see where the Boy Scouts had gone.

‘The sea took them!’ Punkie shouted as she was swamped with rain.

Unprofessional: He admitted he didn’t pay attention to the storm because he stayed up all night right his rap. As he turned to the map embarrassing graphics with his face on a turkey popped up

Lost at sea: Cecily checked back with the correspondent just before closing the segment to see where the Boy Scouts had gone. ‘The sea took them!’ Punkie shouted

Ed Sheeran was back again after the break for his second and final song of the evening.

He performed his single Overpass Graffiti in a similarly low-key manner on his acoustic guitar, though he switched out his red sweater for a white version.

The final sketch was devoted to the newly hired writers Ben Marshall, John Higgins, and Martin Herlihy, who make up the sketch group Please Don’t Destroy.

John was moping because he and his girlfriend had just broken up, but his pals encouraged him to call her and tell her all the sweet things that he had been saying about her to them.

But when he picked up the phone, he was overcome with an urge to shout, ‘F*** you! Go f*** yourself!’ 

Rocking out: Ed Sheeran was back again after the break for his second and final song of the evening. He performed his single Overpass Graffiti

New blood: The final sketch was devoted to the newly hired writers Ben Marshall, John Higgins, and Martin Herlihy, who make up the sketch group Please Don’t Destroy

In the dumps: John was moping because he and his girlfriend had just broken up, but his pals encouraged him to call her and tell her all the sweet things that he had been saying about her to them

Off the handle: But when he picked up the phone, he was overcome with an urge to shout, ‘F*** you! Go f*** yourself!’

Compelled: His pals tried to take the phone from him to smooth things over, but as soon as they got on the line with her they started cursing at her too

His pals tried to take the phone from him to smooth things over, but as soon as they got on the line with her they started cursing at her too.

Then new hire Sarah Sherman burst through the door as John’s girlfriend

‘You motherf***er!’ she screamed as she pulled him up by his hair and smashed his face down on his desk.

During his final farewell, Kieran went out on a triumphant note as Kenan Thompson and Chris Redd both lifted him in the air.

He pumped his fists, just as his brother Macaulay had done when he hosted back in 1991. 

Big trouble: Then new hire Sarah Sherman burst through the door as John’s girlfriend ‘You motherf***er!’ she screamed

Ouch! She pulled him up by his hair and smashed his face down on his desk

Top of the world! During his final farewell, Kieran went out on a triumphant note as Kenan Thompson and Chris Redd both lifted him in the air, fulfilling his wish