Amber Portwood opened up about her struggle with mental illness during a girls-only trip on Monday’s episode of Teen Mom OG.
The 29-year-old reality star went to Boca Raton, Florida with Maci Bookout, 27, Catelynn Lowell, 27, and Cheyenne Floyd, 26, during the season nine episode titled Momcation.
The episode was filmed months before Amber was taken into custody Friday for investigation of domestic battery after allegedly attacking her boyfriend Andrew Glennon while he was holding their one-year-old son James.
Girls trip: Amber Portwood opened up about her struggle with mental illness during a girls-only trip on Monday’s episode of Teen Mom OG
The Florida trip marked 10 years together for Amber, Maci and Catelynn and left Cheyenne, who joined during the second half of season seven, playing catch up.
Cheyenne told Amber that she didn’t have a ‘complete understanding’ of her mental health diagnosis and asked her to explain it.
Amber said that around age 17 or 18 she was diagnosed with bipolar disorder.
‘I didn’t really believe it because at that time everybody was diagnosed with it,’ Amber said.
Off medication: The 29-year-old reality star admitted that she went off her meds on the trip
Catching up: Cheyenne Floyd asked Amber about her mental health issues
‘So I got like four different opinions and it was all the same. And then I had borderline personality disorder, BPD. That stems more from your childhood and things that you went through,’ Amber said.
She revealed taking medication for both and said she used to take even heavier medication.
‘Obviously since the day we started this show, I’ve been f***ing nuts, so I mean, come on,’ Amber said.
On medication: Amber revealed being diagnosed with bipolar disorder and borderline personality disorder
‘Don’t talk to yourself like that,’ Catelynn said.
‘I mean, you know what I mean. Like, I’ve been beating up people, going in jail and all that,’ Amber said.
‘There was something I needed in my life to help me calm down. …And I didn’t have that back in the day, and if I did, I don’t think any of that stuff would have happened,’ Amber said.
Supportive audience: Catelynn Lowell and Cheyenne listened as Amber shared her story
Amber was struggling with anxiety during the trip and got triggered by paparazzi when they went shopping for groceries.
She talked to Andrew who encouraged her to stay positive and have fun with the girls.
Andrew also surprised Amber by sending her a beautiful bouquet of flowers.
Sweet gesture: Amber’s boyfriend Andrew sent her a beautiful bouquet of flowers
Amber admitted that she didn’t know how to respond to his acts of kindness.
‘I’ve never had a guy that’s ever treated me like this. I feel weird. I have to train myself to do that because I’m not used to it,’ Amber said.
Amber later admitted to Catelynn that she went off her meds for two days because she didn’t want to drink on her medicine.
Two days: Catelynn listened as Amber revealed that she’d been off her meds for two days
She was already feeling withdrawal from her anti-psychotic medication and said it could lead to body shaking.
Amber struggled the next morning to get out of bed.
Catelynn urged her to take her meds and meditate for five minutes before coming downstairs.
Ten years: Catelynn, Maci Bookout and Amber were celebrating 10 years together on Teen Mom
Maci revealed that she dealt with anxiety also when her ex Ryan was caught in the ‘black cloud of addiction’.
MTV included a public service announcement during the episode that read, ‘If you or someone you know is struggling with their emotional health, head to WWW.HALFOFUS.COM for ways to get help’.
Amber thanks to Catelynn realized that she needed to take her meds and joined the others on a yacht ride.
Yacht ride: Amber realized that she needed to take her meds and joined the women on a yacht
Maci shared that she had not yet spoken with Ryan since he got out of jail.
She said that Ryan owes it to their son Bentley to sit down and say, ”Hey, I’m your dad, and I f***ed up and I am sorry”.
The women celebrated Amber’s 29th birthday at a drag show.
Drag show: The women celebrated Amber’s 29th birthday at a drag show
Amber was brought up on the stage and presented with a penis cake.
Maci, Catelynn and Amber were up for doing another trip with Cheyenne who they preferred over former castmate Farrah Abraham, 28.
‘It feels good honestly to have someone in our group that’s not a b****, likes to have fun and wants to hang out with us. You know, and doesn’t feel like she’s above us or anything like that. …It makes a big difference,’ Amber said.
Good times: Amber wore a crown as she enjoyed the drag show for her birthday