The HILARIOUS classified ad a cheeky Essendon Bombers AFL fan paid for

It’s been a tough 18 years for Essendon supporters, with the club’s last finals win coming in 2004 – and some cheeky footy fans have let them know all about it with a hilarious classifieds ad.

The ad, which was taken out in a weekend newspaper, sarcastically congratulates the club on reaching their 18th birthday since their last finals win: an elimination victory over the Demons on September 4, 2004.

The club would go on to lose to Geelong the following week, and have made the finals on just six occasions since, crashing out on every occasion.

It was a point not lost on three audacious fans, who took out a paid classifieds ad titled ‘Happy 18th Bombers!’

Dejected Bombers players leave Marvel Stadium after a spanking at the hands of Port Adelaide in Round 22

‘Wow – where did these years go? Time sure flies when you’re having fun! Congratulations to the Essendon Football Club on reach such an important milestone,’ the ad read.

‘There have been some ups and lots of downs, but through it all you have stuck true to yourself and never won a final since this day in 2004.

‘Look forward to raising a glass with you and celebrating many more winless Septembers. Lots of love MF, SG and AK,’ finished the ad. 

Essendon star Mark Mercuri is chaired off in a Bombers finals game in 2004 – the last year the club won a final

Not everyone saw the funny side, however, with some Essendon fans venting their frustration.

‘Pretty sad all the people trying to kick a club when its down , obviously all have the perfect club. Get a life keyboard bullies,’ one angry Bombers fan wrote on Facebook. 

‘Wow, someone must of had their wife stolen by a Bombers supporter to be p***ed enough off to pay 1500 bucks for an ad’, wrote another fan while one said: ‘Don’t worry, I’m sure the Bombers will win one before the Saints (St Kilda). At least your club does not (have) a losing culture’.

‘This is the most pathetic, meaningless joke going around,’ fumed another Essendon fan. 

It has been a tough few decades for Essendon after failing to win a final since 2004

Unfortunately, it is simply a fact of footy that the Bombers have a losing culture, with the 2011 drugs scandal further confining the club to perpetual state of turmoil – though the fans seem loathe to admit it.

One footy fan pointed out: ‘We’ve established Essendon fans take themselves very seriously here, and don’t have a sense of humor’, while many said the club’s ’21st’ birthday would come around in quick time. 

There is an entire Twitter account dedicated to counting the days since the Bombers won a final, and it celebrated the 18th birthday, too. 

It has been a miserable year for the club in 2022, winning just seven games and losing their last four matches by an average of 56 points, with three of those losses coming against teams that weren’t even in the eight. 

It led to coach Ben Rutten being sacked just prior to the last game of the season, with both Essendon and non-Bombers footy fans slamming the club for his treatment despite the side finishing a lowly 15th after playing finals in 2021.

The brutal axing appeared to inspire to another cheeky footy fan to put in an application for the vacant coach’s job on Airtasker, asking for the princely sum of $5 for the role.

Ben Rutten was axed by Essendon after the club suffered through yet another year of turmoil

‘I have very little experience other than coaching an u12s cricket team to the bottom of the ladder,’ the cheeky job application read.

‘I can’t guarantee success nor can I be sure that the players will buy into my game plan, however, based on my understanding this isn’t necessarily a prerequisite for the job.

‘I also have some friends who know some people they met in a laneway off King St who reckon they have a legit performance enhancement program that will get the boys firing in no time,’ the ad ended.

It was a sly crack at the club’s supplements scandal, which saw 34 players and coach James Hird suspended for two years after they were found guilty of taking illegal substances given to them by controversial sports scientist Stephen Dank.

James Hird (right) competes with Cats players Paul Chapman and Henry Playfair in the 2004 AFL Finals

Even when Essendon manages to sneak into the finals, losing habits re-emerge. 

Club great Terry Daniher slammed the club’s culture on Saturday, saying their soul was lost the day they moved from spiritual headquarters Windy Hill to their current home, The Hangar in Tullamarine. 

‘To see them in the state that they are, you just can’t help but feel for the players,’ Daniher told SEN.

‘When we left Windy Hill and moved out to Tullamarine, a lot of Essendon was left at Windy Hill, it didn’t follow out to Tullamarine.

‘Ben Rutten and a few tried hard to breed that culture into the players, but it just wasn’t the same, there’s no one there that has had any real experience.

‘They looked like a sad case towards the end of the year but I’m sure they’ll bounce back, they just need some good leaders there,’ Daniher said of the lack of leadership and culture at the club.

The current captain Dyson Heppell could be on the move in 2023

Essendon are yet to announce their coach for 2023 and beyond, though many club figures amazingly, and controversially, are reportedly keen on bringing back Hird despite his role in the supplements scandal.

It is believed current skipper may have already played his last game for the club, with players like Andrew McGrath and Zach Merrett needing to take a big step up to lead the side through this dark period.