A wooden car track which cost £40 is gathering dust in my sons’ playroom. A tasteful wooden bead maze also lies untouched.
Like many families, one room of our house — the conservatory — is reserved for my sons Alfie, three, and Charlie, one, and their toys. Our shelves groan with more neglected playthings.
As soon as I found out I was pregnant with Alfie, I decorated his planned bedroom with a farmyard theme. It’s been decorated again, when he became mad about the planets.
The UK is the fourth-largest toy market in the world, having spent £3.3 billion on 371 million items in 2018 alone (stock image)
I refused to listen when my mother and mother-in-law told me that my boys didn’t need lots of toys or an immaculately decorated house.
Instead, the moment I was holding a positive pregnancy test, the shopping began. From adorable Babygros to characterful cuddly toys, the must-have teething rings, educational books… it’s spend, spend, spend.
At my most extreme, I spent around £400 a month on clobber. For a part-time music teacher married to a postman, Dave, 36, that’s a large percentage of our household income.
I thought if I could create an idyllic childhood for my boys they would somehow be protected — or distracted — from a world which might feel more threatening than the one I grew up in.
Nicola Richardson decided to take what she called the Reclaim Childhood Challenge (stock image)
Now, aged 32, I realise I bought into a sneaky commercialisation of childhood by social media and parenting blogs.
After last Christmas, struggling to find storage space, I realised enough was enough.
I decided to take what I call the Reclaim Childhood Challenge. I had to stop trying to buy the perfect life for my sons, via toys and clothes they didn’t need. (They’re growing boys so I couldn’t cut clothes out altogether).
Seven months on, I’m amazed at how easy it’s been. The boys are too young to have any pester power — and they’ve benefited from us making memories with them rather than plying them with new possessions.
I think mums would gain from my Reclaim Childhood Challenge. All it means is not buying anything unnecessary for 12 months.
The UK is the world’s fourth- largest toy market. We spent £3.3 billion in 2018, buying as many as 371 million items. Environmentalists say this is contributing to the growing mountain of plastic ending up in landfill sites and oceans.
Then there’s an American study which reported that when children under five have too many toys, they can’t concentrate on one thing long enough to learn from it.
Certainly, my boys concentrate more now there are fewer toys around, and are happier with what they have.
In March, I slipped up and bought them a train each as a bribe for good behaviour. Having not received anything new since Christmas, they cradled those engines as if they were the most precious things on the planet.
My overspending began when I first became a mother and felt pressure to be perfect. In the first month of motherhood, you don’t really know what you’re doing — and you’re sleep deprived.
Then, you start seeing images online of mothers who seem to have their lives in order. You find yourself thinking that if you buy the stuff they’re promoting, you’ll be on top of things, too.
One-click purchases make it all far too easy. You can spend without thinking about it, which is dangerous for your bank account. And your state of mind.
When Alfie was eight months old, I was following mothers on Instagram who were buying cute clothes from Zara Kids. Their babies looked adorable, so I ordered quite a lot from Zara online and it all arrived in a huge box.
When I opened it, I’d ordered far more than I’d realised — amounting to about £120, which was unprecedented for me.
Much of it remained folded away waiting for a special occasion that never came.
These days, my boys wear more practical things — T-shirts and shorts from the supermarket, eBay or hand-me downs.
Buying cheap toys in the supermarket was another failing of mine. I’d give them something to keep them quiet in the trolley, and threaten them with putting it back on the shelves if they played up.
Now I simply explain that we have too many toys already. Or I’ll suggest to Alfie that he ask for that toy for his birthday.
We will still buy them something for their birthdays, but we’ll scale things down.
Another interesting result is the knock-on effect on me. My focus had been not buying toys and excess clothing, but now I question everything I spend.
Now, we save at least £350 a month, and have more freedom to pay for classes and outings. Alfie’s taken up gymnastics, for example, which he loves.
My Reclaim Childhood Challenge is as much about avoiding excess as saving money. By teaching our boys to expect less stuff, we’re helping them to get more from life. To enjoy seeing and doing, rather than acquiring.
Learn more at Nicola’s blog, thefrugalcottage.com