The seven reasons why you can’t get over a toxic relationship

An Australian matchmaker has listed seven common reasons why it can be difficult get over a toxic relationship. 

‘One of the most confusing, mysterious things about dating is that some relationships are harder to let go of than others,’ Louanne Ward, from Perth, said.

Holding onto memories, feeling sorry for their ex or believing they won’t find a suitable partner were among the most common reasons. 

‘​​​Why, for instance, can it feel easier to disentangle yourself from a kind, thoughtful and loving partnership than the unhealthy one full of manipulation, lies, cheating, or any of the undeniably awful things that people can do in relationships?​​​​​​​​’ Louanne said.

​​​​​’Why do you find yourself struggling to let go still thinking about them days, months, and years later grappling to find peace in your heart?​​​​​​​​’

Some singles might miss the fantasy of what you could have had​​​​​​​​, while others could feel shame and resentment for wasting their own time​​​​​​​.​

It can be difficult accepting to fact that time and energy was put into the relationship that’s now over, or others might believe they don’t deserve more.

But there are several ways to heal and move on from a relationship that left you feeling wounded.

Louanne recommends building a ‘support network of emotionally healthy people’ and seeking help as needed. 

‘Recognise your patterns and the part you played in enabling the behaviour,’ she wrote, adding: ‘Stop trying to help people or fix them, this is no time to be a shoulder for others to cry on.’

It’s also important to work on your confidence, self-esteem, and letting go of any negativity.  

Previously Louanne shared a video online explaining why women should avoid the sentence: ‘I don’t need a man’.

‘Every time you say “I don’t need a man”, what you’re doing is you’re putting out there exactly what you’re attracting back,’ she said.

Louanne said when most men hear these words, they ‘automatically begin to lose interest’. 

The statement is usually common among women who are independent, confident and successful. 

‘It’s true, you don’t need a man; You earn your own money, you can support yourself, you’ve got your own life, you’re happy,’ Ms Ward said in the video. 

‘You might not need a man, but you actually need all the things a man can give you – the affection, the support, the love, the laughter, the sex, the caring.’ 

Louanne dubbed the statement as a ‘ridiculous thing to say’ as there’s ‘no shame’ in needing a man to fulfill your needs.