The SEVEN reasons why you can’t get over a toxic relationship – and how to finally let go of them for good
- An Aussie matchmaker revealed why it’s difficult to get over a toxic relationship
- Louanne Ward said many singles often feel confused as to why they feel like this
- Feeling sorry for the ex or believing they won’t find a partner were on the list
- Louanne said it’s important to seek help and build a support network of friends
An Australian matchmaker has listed seven common reasons why it can be difficult get over a toxic relationship.
‘One of the most confusing, mysterious things about dating is that some relationships are harder to let go of than others,’ Louanne Ward, from Perth, said.
Holding onto memories, feeling sorry for their ex or believing they won’t find a suitable partner were among the most common reasons.
Louanne Ward (pictured) revealed the top seven reasons why it can be difficult to get over a toxic relationship
‘Why, for instance, can it feel easier to disentangle yourself from a kind, thoughtful and loving partnership than the unhealthy one full of manipulation, lies, cheating, or any of the undeniably awful things that people can do in relationships?’ Louanne said.
’Why do you find yourself struggling to let go still thinking about them days, months, and years later grappling to find peace in your heart?’
Some singles might miss the fantasy of what you could have had, while others could feel shame and resentment for wasting their own time.
It can be difficult accepting to fact that time and energy was put into the relationship that’s now over, or others might believe they don’t deserve more.
Why it’s hard to leave a toxic relationship:
You are attached to the memory of the good times
You miss the fantasy of what you could have had
They made you believe you didn’t deserve more
You invested so much time and energy
You feel sorry for them and thought you could change them
You haven’t been able to find someone you love as much
Feelings of shame and resentment for wasting your time
But there are several ways to heal and move on from a relationship that left you feeling wounded.
Louanne recommends building a ‘support network of emotionally healthy people’ and seeking help as needed.
‘Recognise your patterns and the part you played in enabling the behaviour,’ she wrote, adding: ‘Stop trying to help people or fix them, this is no time to be a shoulder for others to cry on.’
It’s also important to work on your confidence, self-esteem, and letting go of any negativity.
How to heal and move on from a toxic relationship:
Build your support network of emotionally healthy people
Understand you might be trauma bonded and seek help where needed.
Recognise your patterns and the part you played in enabling the behaviour.
Set healthy boundaries for yourself and others
Work on your self-esteem.
Stop trying to help people or fix them, this is no time to be a shoulder for others to cry on.
Let go of some negativity by understanding ways this has helped you to grow.
Previously Louanne shared a video online explaining why women should avoid the sentence: ‘I don’t need a man’.
‘Every time you say “I don’t need a man”, what you’re doing is you’re putting out there exactly what you’re attracting back,’ she said.
Louanne said when most men hear these words, they ‘automatically begin to lose interest’.
The statement is usually common among women who are independent, confident and successful.
‘It’s true, you don’t need a man; You earn your own money, you can support yourself, you’ve got your own life, you’re happy,’ Ms Ward said in the video.
‘You might not need a man, but you actually need all the things a man can give you – the affection, the support, the love, the laughter, the sex, the caring.’
Louanne dubbed the statement as a ‘ridiculous thing to say’ as there’s ‘no shame’ in needing a man to fulfill your needs.