There’s a reason they used to call gin mother’s ruin. After my third child, this ‘classy’ spirit slowly tightened its grip on me and I almost lost everything

It was the cry no woman wants to hear from her young child, especially in the dead of night: a helpless wail that meant only one thing: ‘I need my mother.’

Except, at first, Jacey Curran didn’t hear a thing. She was out cold in a drunken stupor after another night of boozing at home.

‘It was a Wednesday, a school night and my middle child was sick,’ Jacey tells me.

‘I had gotten drunk, as usual, and went to bed early. I woke up to my child crying for cough medicine. When I stood up, I fell back down and realised I was too drunk to even make it down the stairs.’

Knowing she couldn’t be there for her sick child cut deep. For Jacey, the guilt and shame of that night was her rock bottom.

‘I knew I needed to stop,’ she says.

Alcoholism crept up slowly on Jacey. From the outside, her suburban life in Connecticut with her husband and three young daughters looked tranquil.

Her drinking, Jacey tells me, had always been heavy but manageable. Her pregnancies kept her sober. She even had months of sobriety afterwards while breastfeeding.

But after her third child was born, booze tightened its grip.

Almost all of Jacey’s drinking was done at home after her kids had gone to bed. Her drink of choice would be White Claw hard seltzer mixed with cheap gin

‘Drinking was my one true love, my favourite escape,’ Jacey says

‘It wasn’t until after my last child was three or four months old that I began to relax,’ she says.

‘I was struggling with postpartum depression and my husband worked most nights. I found wine to be the best anxiety relief I could find.’

Then the pandemic hit, and Jacey lost her small business. The financial stress, along with lockdowns with three children, saw her mental health spiral.

Her faithful friend, alcohol, was waiting in the wings. Incredibly, she would use ‘lighter’ alcoholic drinks like White Claw as mixers for the hard stuff.

‘I quickly began drinking liquor mixed with wine or hard seltzers and it became problematic,’ she says.

Drinking became Jacey’s escape, a tool to numb the pain and sadness she was feeling. On a night when her husband was working away, Jacey would rush through the kids’ bedtime, eager to start drinking.

She’d have bought 12 White Claws, a popular brand of hard seltzer, and a 750ml bottle of the cheapest gin, Crystal Palace, for the evening.

Jacey is now a year sober and has lost 25kg (55lbs or almost 4st)

Jacey with her husband Cameron. When Jacey knew she needed to quit, Cameron poured her last drinks down the sink

‘Drinking was my one true love, my favourite escape. Although it exacerbated my postpartum anxiety, it also became the only short-term relief for it. I looked forward to drinking time every single day,’ Jacey says.

‘I drank because I was sad, lost, lonely, ashamed and afraid to see what life was like without it. I hated that I was a drunk mother. I knew my kids deserved better, yet I continued my addiction because I didn’t know a way out.’

Only her husband and best friend knew the extent of her drinking.

‘My husband tried to approach my drinking carefully once in a while, but I’d fight back and tell him I had it under control.’

And her life started to fall apart.

‘I called in sick at work a lot, lost any motivation to keep a clean house, bathed irregularly, stopped going to the doctor and had debilitating panic attacks that kept me from having any close relationships with friends.’

But it wasn’t until that night of not being able to comfort her sick child that Jacey knew she had to change, and her husband poured all the alcohol in the house down the sink.

‘We fought, I cried, he cried. But I never drank again,’ she says.

That was May 2023, and while Jacey admits it was the most difficult time of her life, she hasn’t touched a drop of alcohol since.

She didn’t go to treatment, instead stopping cold turkey at home, a method that is not medically recommended due to the risk of withdrawal symptoms.

Her support system was the online community Reddit.

‘The subreddit r/stopdrinking is what I checked into religiously throughout the day and night,’ she reveals.

While many ex-drinkers speak of the clarity and joy that comes early in sobriety, for Jacey, it took her a year to feel the full effects.

‘It was like drinking had laid down a grey, wet blanket over my life and mind. Sobriety slowly brought joy back into my life.’

Jacey has since lost almost 25kg (55lbs or almost 4st), repaired her marriage and reconnected with her children, now seven, nine and 11.

‘My panic attacks have decreased to a manageable level. I’m now in therapy and look forward to continuing healing my body and brain,’ she adds.

‘I wake up early and no longer feel impaired by fear, shame and guilt. I truthfully enjoy my own company and that’s something I never once thought was possible’.

With almost 36,000 followers on Instagram (@jaceydoessober), she is brutally honest about her former life as an alcoholic and says most of her followers are stay-at-home mothers who are worried about their drinking and looking for support.

‘It’s a very common and serious affliction in women.’

Jacey got her life back after kicking her White Claw and gin habit

On her platform, Jacey shares an eye-opening series of reels called ‘things I did as an alcoholic’, which include: lying to her doctor about drinking, drinking four glasses of wine on a one-hour flight, going days without bathing, and failing to take medication for strep throat because it would interrupt her drinking. 

Jacey is studying to become a Certified Recovery Support Specialist and has three tips for those battling the booze:

1. Have a quit plan: ‘Understand that it will suck at first so go in prepared with your favourite hobbies/movies/support system in place.’

2. Walking: ‘Any time I felt any discomfort in early sobriety, I’d leave my house and pace my street. Make your legs hurt so your brain does not.’

3. Tell someone: ‘Keep yourself accountable by sharing your addiction with someone else. Even a stranger online helps. Find a community big or small to help you.’

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