There’s an eye-watering bit of political gossip about the ‘salon sex joke’ teal that tells me everything you need to know about her… PVO

Teals’ code of silence

Where are the conga line of teals disassociating themselves from their candidate for Bradfield, Nicolette Boele, after she made an inappropriate sexual gag to a teenage hairdresser?

She’s apologised in that standard non-apology kind of way, but I’m more concerned why her virtue-signally colleagues haven’t said that she should recuse herself from the election race.

Just imagine how they all would have reacted if a Liberal MP did what Boele did, much less a male MP. Imagine, for a moment, if it had been Paul Fletcher, the Liberal MP for Bradfield since 2009. The frothing at their collective mouths would have been a sight to behold! The demands for that MP to resign would have been endless. The media fascination with the story would have been an ongoing distraction.

But a female teal does it and it’s cockpit silence from the teal MP collective. Not a single one of them has criticised what Boele did. Not one. That’s despite their maiden speeches extolling the importance of good behaviour and integrity in politics.

Did you know Boele has had what she refers to as a ‘shadow electorate office’ set up in Bradfield for the last three years during this term of parliament?

Imagine that – calling herself the ‘shadow member for Bradfield’! 

And it’s not even a secret. Her slobbering media cheerleaders at Crikey and The Saturday Paper have previously trumpeted the moniker like it’s some great zinger.

Pollies and journos are having a good laugh this week at teal candidate Nicolette Boele, who once owned the label ‘shadow member for Bradfield’ until a humbling incident at a local salon

A staff member at the Envy Room salon in Gordon (pictured) said Boele had been banned ‘indefinitely’ after she made an inappropriate sexual gag to a teenage hairdresser

The silence from the teals over Boele’s inappropriate sexual gag is, quite frankly, deafening. Imagine how they all would have reacted if a Liberal did what Boele did, much less a male MP. Imagine, for a moment, if it had been Paul Fletcher (pictured), the MP for Bradfield since 2009

Of course, after the salon incident, it’s become a running joke among pollies and political journalists. How embarrassing.

Once you find out about the whole ‘shadow member’ thing, it becomes easier to understand the sort of arrogance that made her think it was somehow appropriate to make the sexually laced joke that she did.

It takes a certain type of person to think any of that is normal.

Yet her fellow teals continue to stand by her, notwithstanding that doing so entirely strips them of their self-righteousness as a consequence.

I’m a natural ally of the teals, insofar as they’ve fashioned themselves as moderate right-of-centre alternatives who recognise the Liberal Party has neglected women for too long. These are topics I’ve written about for years.

But there is little worse than a hypocrite, and hypocrisy is all around the teals when it comes to practising what they preach.

Nothing personifies that more clearly than their (non) reaction to what Boele did.

Albo’s post-truth era 

Prime Minister Anthony Albanese’s bizarre denial that he fell of the stage at a union event on Thursday highlights the Labor leader’s rather strained relationship with the truth

‘I didn’t fall off stage.’

That was Anthony Albanese‘s honest-to-god answer when asked how he was feeling after falling off the stage at a union event he attended on the election trail.

As Tony Abbott once said, ‘S*** happens.’ People fall over all the time. Of itself it’s no big deal. Politicians have fallen off stages before – take John Howard during the 1996 election campaign, for example. For his biography he told me he badly twisted his ankle but kept that under wraps, quietly putting up with the pain for the rest of the campaign.

But for what can only be the strangest of reasons, the current PM decided to deny falling down, quibbling with the journalist who asked him about it, claiming that one leg falling off the stage instead of two doesn’t constitute a fall. Bizarre. 

Unless his second leg was contorted at a right angle with the tip of his shoe still touching the side of the stage, he clearly fell off, with both legs, case closed.

But no, he quibbled about it. That natural response to deny the undeniable, which was captured on camera by the way, says so much about Albo the career politician.

Put simply, he’s loose with the truth. The very same criticism he regularly levelled at Scott Morrison. Quite rightly by the way – Morrison was also loose with the truth.

Albo’s ability to call night ‘day’, black ‘white’, and up ‘down’ becomes easier to grasp when you hear him deny falling off that stage.

Politicians have fallen off stages before – take John Howard during the 1996 election campaign for example (pictured). Of itself it’s no big deal. As Tony Abbott once said, ‘S*** happens’

His denial may have just been a knee-jerk response to embarrassment, sure. But a cursory glance at his track record shows it is no isolated incident.

He was happy to break promises on superannuation and stage-three tax cuts, and even now continues to deny breaking his promise to cut power bills.

While these denials are more calculating because to admit to each would be politically damaging, what’s the excuse for denying falling off that stage?

The only thing I can think of is that lying has become second nature for him. If true, that’s a very sad state of affairs.

Dutton’s strategy still a mystery

With the first full week of the election campaign done and dusted, there is little doubt that Labor has poked its nose in front.

As readers of this column will know, I have long said I expect Labor to win this election, albeit as a minority government.

The polls that had Peter Dutton and the Coalition in front during the months ahead of the Budget were never more than protest results.

Once the election was called and the Budget delivered, that was always going to adjust – which is exactly what happened when the first round of published polls came out at the beginning of last week.

Still, it’s anyone’s game. Especially as the public hasn’t properly switched on yet.

Peter Dutton’s (centre) only real hope of winning is a late realisation by voters that the last thing they want is three more years of Labor running the joint in partnership with the Greens

With four weeks to go, why would they? Before we even get to election day, there are school holidays, the Easter long weekend and the ANZAC long weekend still to come.

By that time, there will only be four days of campaigning left before the big day – which probably favours Labor.

An electorate distracted is less likely to shift support and change the government, certainly not after just one term in office, and especially not in uncertain times. And thanks to Donald Trump‘s tariffs announcement, the times we are living in are undoubtedly uncertain.

Dutton’s only real hope is a late realisation by voters that the last thing they want is three more years of Labor running the joint. Certainly not in unison with the Greens, which really is the only way Labor can win this election.

There isn’t a great deal to see yet when it comes to what the Coalition’s campaign looks like, but once it ramps up it will hone in on declining standards of living, arguing that three more years of Labor will only worsen the situation.

On Tuesday evening, the leaders go head-to-head in the first election debate. That should give us an early indication of how the Coalition hopes to fight back in the polls.

We’ll also get a better sense of whether voters see Dutton as a viable alternative PM rather than just a belligerent opposition leader.

Debt forgiveness a farce

Just a final thought on one of Labor’s election promises – cutting everyone’s HECS debts by 20 per cent if they’re re-elected.

In all the time I’ve covered federal politics, I honestly think this is the most flagrant election bribe I have ever seen.

Albo could have included the promise in this year’s Budget but didn’t, presumably because his priority was to use it as a vote-buying tool.

The policy literally just wipes one fifth off everyone’s HECS debts. If you already paid yours off, too bad! If you are a new student yet to accumulate HECS debt, too bad! Nothing changes for you.

Labor’s election promise to cut everyone’s HECS debts by 20 per cent if they’re re-elected is honestly the most flagrant election bribe I have ever seen in my time as a political journalist

And the whole vote-buying exercise doesn’t even appear in Budget papers as more debt – remembering that this policy is expected to cost $16billion. That’s because HECS is ‘off-budget’ because it’s seen as a Commonwealth investment.

While the government doesn’t have to own the bribe as contributing to the deficit, once it forgives $16billion worth of HECS debts, that cost immediately transfers onto the national debt, which of course we pay interest on.

The disgrace of this policy approach is palpable, even if you think reform in the higher education space is necessary.

What’s to stop Peter Dutton and the Coalition matching the vote-buying commitment, or doubling it to trump Albo? Nothing really, other than acting semi-responsibly. 

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