A married couple who wed as man and wife plan to renew their vows as two women – with the bride insisting ‘it’s the person I fell in love with – not the body.’
Jae Harvey, 32, met her partner Rayna, 35, on Myspace in 2009 but after two years in a long-distance relationship the couple broke up.
The couple rekindled their romance and got married – as man and woman – in Jae’s hometown – Dallas, Texas, in March 2018 before returning to the UK, where Rayna is from, later that year.
However, Rayna was struggling with her identity and confided in Jae on their honeymoon – who vowed to stick by her and helped her through her transition.
Five years on, the couple who are based in Somerset, plan to renew their vows with Rayna now living as her authentic self, and are trying to get a a gender recognition certification from the British government for her.
Jae and Rayna Harvey, who live in Somerset, married in 2018 before Rayna began her transition, right
The graphic designer said: ‘I can’t wait to walk down the aisle in a dress.
‘Our first wedding was still really cool, we got really drunk and ate lots of cake.
‘I didn’t think about it on that day, but I’ve struggled with my identity since I was 11 years old.
‘To marry as a woman, I have to be psychoanalysed by two independent psychiatrists to prove I’ve been living as myself for two years.
‘After what I’ve been through, I feel very excluded and like I don’t matter.’
Jae, a photographer, originally from Dallas, said: ‘We want to have a black and white wedding and wear black dresses to symbolise death and rebirth.’
The couple first met on social media in 2008 and started talking non-stop in 2010.
Rayna flew over to visit Jae in America in August 2010, but they couldn’t make their relationship go the distance and split at the end of 2011.
Rayna, right, has been living as a woman since 2018 and the couple want to renew their vows as wife and wife
After later discovering Rayna had split from her partner of five years, Jae reached out to her on Facebook in the summer of 2017.
Jae added: ‘I came over to visit Rayna in October 2017 and it was like seven years hadn’t passed.
‘Rayna proposed to me as I was about to board my flight at Bristol Airport sat in Costa.
‘She made a cheeky comment about me staying and I said you’d have to propose to me – so she did.
‘I went home on cloud nine.’
The pair got married in March 2018 in an intimate ceremony in Jae’s mother’s garden.
‘We got married in my mother’s backyard the first time round and it was a very small wedding,’ she recounted.
Pictured on their 2018 wedding day. Rayna confided in Jaw that she was struggling with her identity on their honeymoon
The British resident has spent £70,000 on gender affirming surgeries since her transition, with her last one taking place in 2022
‘Unfortunately, Rayna’s family couldn’t be there because her grandfather had passed away the week before.’
The newlyweds then returned to the UK so Jae could start her visa application process.
A couple of months after the wedding Rayna confided in Jae that she was having some thoughts and feelings she didn’t understand.
They discussed it during their honeymoon at Centre Parks, Longleat, Warminster, Wiltshire, in June 2018.
Jae said: ‘I told her I was glad she told me and not to feel like she had to live in the dark and inauthentically.
‘We tried androgyny and cross-dressing.
Jae said she fell in love with Rayna, before, left, as a person and not just her body, and has been supporting her through the ordeal
‘I thought her best opportunity to go out presenting as female would be our honeymoon because we wouldn’t know anyone.
‘I bought make-up and hair stuff and let her borrow one of my purses and we went to dinner at Bella Italia.
‘The server said “good evening, ladies” and I could see it all over her face.’
The newlyweds then returned to their cabin and had an open discussion.
Jae added: ‘I asked whatever I needed to ask and what it meant for us and what the transition would look like.
‘It’s the person I fell in love with – not the body.’
Jae then taught Rayna how to do hair and make-up and became her number one supporter.
Rayna started hormone replacement therapy in August 2018 whilst Jae went home to apply for her visa.
In December 2018, she came out publicly on Facebook and everyone supported her with open arms.
The couple, pictured now, have been happily married for five years and want to renew their vows in order to be recognised as wife and wife
‘We were met with total support by everyone, even Rayna’s 95-year-old grandma is on board and gives her granddaughter cards,’ Jae said.
Rayna added: ‘I feel like me now.
‘Life is a lot easier now I can go about my daily basis without worrying.
‘I’ve struggled since I was 11 years old, but I didn’t know what being trans was.
‘I had predominantly female friends at school, and I loved dressing up and being someone else for Halloween.’
Rayna started the lengthy transitioning period with hormone therapy in 2018, followed by an orchiectomy – a procedure to remove the testicles in May 2019.
She also had a breast augmentation, facial surgery and finally, full penis removal in February 2022- her surgery totalled £70,000 which her parents helped her out with.
She has her final bottom surgery Spire Yale, Wrexham – as she remained on the NHS waiting list after an initial appointment five years ago.
The final procedure nearly killed Rayna as she lost so much blood.
Jae added: ‘It was a total freak accident which is something that can happen in this surgery.
‘The doctor described it as “blood bath”. It is meant to take three-and-a-half hours, but it got to seven hours, and she was still in there.
‘She couldn’t bear to have a transfusion but took iron tablets – everyone calls her a machine because she’s never taken any painkillers after surgery.’
To marry as a female, Rayna requires a gender recognition certification from the government – it is a certificate to recognise her as a woman – despite having changed her name, drivers licence and passport.
She doesn’t want to have to jump through endless hoops to prove her womanhood and the couple refuse to marry until Rayna can tie the knot as her true self.
Jae said: ‘It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been transitioning or what you’ve done.
‘The government have made it so difficult – there are so many hoops to jump through.’
Rayna added: ‘I get there needs to be a process to verify who I am, but a lot of people struggle to get gender recognition certificates.
‘It’s a soul-destroying process after having been through so much.
‘Jae and I can’t move forward whilst it’s a thing. We want to be visible.’
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