‘Love languages’ may have taken the world by storm.
But there’s no science supporting the popular 30-year-old theory, two experts have claimed.
Dr Martin Graff, who specialises in the field of the psychology of relationships, said it was developed ‘based on observations, rather than rigorous research’.
Meanwhile, Dr Gery Karantzas, an expert in the same topic, from Deakin University in Australia, said: ‘There is little evidence to support the idea that love languages are ‘a thing’, or that love languages do much of anything to help improve relationships.’
Love languages, such as acts of service, can help couples understand each others’ needs but there’s no science supporting the popular 30-year-old theory, one expert claims (file photo)
Yet writing for The Conversation, Dr Graff added: ‘Whether or not there is science in this particular theory might not matter so much.
‘There is little doubt there’s value to be found in expressing your love for your partner in a thoughtful way.’
And, despite there being no concrete evidence, he said Valentine Day’s ‘might be a good time to reflect on your partner’s love language’.
Dr Graff, who is based at Swansea University, said: ‘For example, if they favour words of affirmation, carefully consider what you write in their card.
‘If their love language is acts of service, you might like to cook their favourite meal.’
The concept of ‘love languages’ — now a familiar sight in every lifestyle magazine — can be traced back to the 1990s.
Gary Chapman, an author and speaker based in the US, claimed that there are five distinct preferences for expressing love.
Everyone can be grouped into either words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch.
Dr Chapman hoped his theory would help people ‘love better and grow closer’.
He suggested that for couples whose love languages don’t match, learning a partner’s preferred one is the key to a good relationship.
He added: ‘After a lifetime of counselling, being married, and raising two children, I can tell you from experience that very few of us know how to do so in ways that are truly meaningful to our loved ones.
‘Whatever season you find yourself in, I want to give you the confidence you need to connect profoundly with the ones you care for.’
Dr Graff said: ‘And there’s been minimal scientific evidence published to date to support the idea that people generally prefer to express and receive love in one of these five ways, or exploring how these love languages influence relationships.
‘Similarly, any ‘quiz’ used to determine people’s love language has no integrity as a scientifically valid test.’
One 2022 study supporting the concept of love languages, by researchers from the University of Warsaw, claimed that expressing affection in your other half’s preferred style does lead to contentment.
Everyone can be grouped into either words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service, and physical touch (file photo)
The researchers spoke to 100 heterosexual couples aged 17-58, who had been together for six months to 24 years, and evaluated their preferred love languages, as well as the love languages they used when expressing love to their partner.
The results showed that, for both men and women, participants whose partners used their preferred love language reported better relationship and sexual satisfaction.
‘People who better match each other’s preferences for love languages are more satisfied with their relationships and sexual life,’ the team wrote.
Yet not all the evidence is conclusive, as a 2017 study claimed the opposite.
Scientists from the Queensland University of Technology found that either understanding a romantic partner’s love language or having the same one as them both had no impact on relationship satisfaction.
The researchers studied 67 heterosexual couples aged 18-70, who had been together for one month to 33 years.
The participants had to rate how much they agreed or disagreed with statements such as ‘I tend to express my feelings to my partner by running errands for her/him’.
They then had to repeat the questionnaire from their partner’s perspective.
The authors wrote: ‘In contrast to Chapman’s (1992) five love languages theory, this study found no significant relation between love language alignment and relationship satisfaction.
‘In the current study, over three fourths of participants accurately implicitly determined their partner’s love language, but this did not correspond with higher spousal relationship satisfaction.’
Dr Chapman suggests that for couples whose love languages don’t match, learning a partner’s preferred one is the key to a good relationship
Dr Karantzas echoed Dr Graff’s stance on love languages.
Writing for The Conversation, he said: ‘Despite the popularity of the theory of love languages, only a handful of studies have been conducted and reported over the past 30 years
‘Research is largely inconclusive, although the balance sways more towards refuting rather than endorsing the love languages concept.’
However, Dr Karantzas added that of the two studies into whether having a better understanding of your partner’s love language is linked to higher relationship satisfaction, both found this to be the case.
***
Read more at DailyMail.co.uk