Woman leaves dinner with boyfriend as he brought a BELL to restaurant

A woman left a romantic dinner with her boyfriend after he brought his own bell to the restaurant and continually rang it to the waiting staff to get their attention.  

Reddit user Blain-Ad-5996, who is a 30-year-old woman from the UK, took to the ‘Am I The A******?’ thread to see if she was right to feel angry with her boyfriend.

She has been dating the man in question, Rhett, 31, who is American, for four months but when he whipped out a bell he’d brought along to their latest date, she was horrified. 

He explained that it’s acceptable in American because ‘people don’t give a s***’, and she promptly walked out. 

The woman asked the Reddit community for their stance on the situation, explaining that in the aftermath, Rhett has been annoyed with her for ‘overreacting’.

Reddit user Blain-Ad-5996, who is a 30-year-old woman from the UK, took to the ‘Am I The A**hole?’ thread to see if she was right to feel angry with her boyfriend who brought a bell to their romantic dinner to get the attention of waiting staff (stock image)

She said of the sitution: ‘Rhett was already there when I arrived to the diner, we talked some, checked the menu, then when it was time to order he pulled a small bell out of his jacket pocket, lifted it up then started shaking it.

‘It produced a loud, annoying sound my ears started hurting. I was so confused I asked what he was doing and he said that he was trying to get one of the waiting staff’s attention.

‘I said it was embarrassing and he should stop right then but he kept shaking it. I can not begin to explain the looks we received from everyone.

‘I demanded him to stop but he said not til someone came and took our order. I threatened to leave the place and cancel dinner if he wouldn’t and he kept doing it. Someone came already, but I’d already gotten up, took my purse and started making my way out.

‘He followed me and started arguing about walking out but I told him that I couldn’t take being embarrassed by him and he got upset and said that he didn’t get why I thought the bell was embarrassing, explained that it was a perfect solution for no longer be forced to wait til someone shows up.

Taking to Reddit, the unnamed woman said she's been dating, Rhett, 31, who is American, for four months - but it all went wrong when he brought out a bell to get staff's attention

Taking to Reddit, the unnamed woman said she’s been dating, Rhett, 31, who is American, for four months – but it all went wrong when he brought out a bell to get staff’s attention

‘I asked if it was acceptable to do this in america and he said “yes because it’s a free country and people there usually don’t give a shit” but I said it’s inappropriate and embarrasing here. he said I was being too sensitive and overreacted over nothing. He insisted we go back inside but I refused.

‘We ended up leaving, he kept on about how I ruined dinner by cancelling it and offending him by acting like his behavior is shamful. I said I had a right to give an opinion on what he’s done even if he thought what he was doing but he basically told me to get off my high horse and stop calling his “genius” idea embarrassing.

‘He’s been sulking for days now and wanting an apology, Maybe I overreacted. maybe it’s nothing where he lives but here it’s just unacceptable.’ 

The users on the thread were equally as furious as the original poster, and everyone was in agreement that Rhett was in the wrong for many reasons.

A consistent string of responses were from American users, who argued that it is ‘disgusting’ behaviour and that he can’t excuse doing such a thing on being from America. 

Ajax2476 gave their take as an American, former waitress and food enthusiast: ‘I have NEVER had someone bring a bell in, or have someone snap fingers at me.

‘Management would ask the offending party to stop, then kick out for creating a disturbance.

‘Your BF is just a d*** and honestly you should dump him.’

Thisgirlruns8 said: ‘Another American here… how disgusting, and thank your (hopefully ex) bf for perpetuating the wonderful ‘ugly American’ stereotype. NTA [not the a**hole], but he is. Don’t waste your time on this one!’

Similarly, breezybert added: ‘Also American, I worked at a restaurant for years and if someone ever came into my work and brought a bell I would kick them out and refuse service.

‘This man is gaslighting you. You should leave him seriously. NTA [not the a**hole].’

A consistent string of responses were from American users, who argued that it is 'disgusting' behaviour and that he can't excuse doing such a thing on being from America

A consistent string of responses were from American users, who argued that it is ‘disgusting’ behaviour and that he can’t excuse doing such a thing on being from America

Lookeeitsbrookee said: ‘Former server, lifelong American. This is not only not normal, but it is wrong and completely disrespectful.

‘If I was his server I would has him to put away or leave. He seems like the entitled ignorant American we’re all ashamed are becoming more common.’ 

Many told the 30-year-old girlfriend that she is probably better off without him, and that he is raising many red flags only four months down the line of their relationship.

Bossbaby33 said: ‘Yeah, who would ring a bell at a public restaurant? I would say that’s beyond embarrassing, you did nothing wrong.

‘It’s disturbing other customers and waiters, they might be busy with their work and it’s their job. They will serve you.

‘Are you sure about this relationship, I see red flags.’ 

Some even said that his behaviour is an indicator of how Rhett will behave towards her one day – if this is how he can treat staff at a restaurant without thinking he was in the wrong.

NefInDaHouse cited a comment from another user, who said ‘The way one treats waitstaff is a good indicator of how he’ll possibly treat you one day’, and added: ‘OP [original poster], you do not need that in your life. NTA [not the a**hole].

Beyond the embarrassment of Rhett, lots of people in the thread said that the way he acted was wholly inappropriate and deserved to be thrown out of the restaurant - and that the woman should not believe she was wrong for leaving

Beyond the embarrassment of Rhett, lots of people in the thread said that the way he acted was wholly inappropriate and deserved to be thrown out of the restaurant – and that the woman should not believe she was wrong for leaving

Romanonj11 added: ‘I’ve seen snapping at people which is bad enough but never in my years as a server have I ever seen someone bring in a bell. I honestly don’t think I’d serve someone like that. How rude.’

Samira827 gave some insight to the original poster, who was confused after hearing it was ‘normal’ to do such a thing in America.

‘The only places in my country where it’s appropriate to ring a bell to call the staff (the place’s bell, not your own) are tea houses and shisha houses,’ she explained.

‘Everywhere else, you’ll be a massive entitled AH [a**hole] for ringing a bell.’ 

‘And not just possibly, this is exactly how he would treat his partners in the future – like servants that are supposed to come running back any time he wants them to.’ 

Beyond the embarrassment of Rhett, lots of people in the thread said that the way he acted was wholly inappropriate and deserved to be thrown out of the restaurant – and that the woman should not believe she was wrong for leaving.  

ACB1984 said: ‘Hard NTA [not the a**hole]!!! I can’t imagine that being ok ANYWHERE.

‘To sum it up: He’s got 0 respect for the wait staff who are trying to give service to more than one table, in my opinion he acts as if the staff are less than human.

‘He’s got 0 respect for everyone trying to eat their meal; the person he is dating. when you asked him to stop, he ignored you.

‘He’s completely unwilling to accept that he might be wrong, when told his behaviour is unacceptable he refuses to take anyone else’s perspective but his own.

‘He’s moved countries for God’s sake, even if a bell WAS ok in his homecountry (or hometown) he just needs to adjust to the new culture and listen to the locals! Big red flag.’ 

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