Woman reveals her ‘notoriously cheap’ sister has told her to contribute $200 to the Thanksgiving dinner she is hosting – even though she already paid $300 for flights to be there
- A 32-year-old American woman from the East Coast said she has spent over $300 on flights to visit her 30-year-old sister in Texas
- The sister and her husband are hosting Thanksgiving for the first time
- The Texas sister has now asked the East Coaster to contribute toward the cost of food for the weekend
- The East Coaster finds this rude and is seeking advice
An American woman says she is flying halfway across the country to stay with her sister, who is hosting Thanksgiving this year — but she’s a bit put off by the fact that her sister has asked her to fork over $200 to cover expenses.
The unidentified 32-year-old woman wrote to The Cut’s financial advice columnist Charlotte Cowles to ask how best to handle the tricky situation.
She explained that she has already spent over $300 on plane tickets to fly in, and finds it ‘rude’ that her 30-year-old sister is asking her to pay when she is the one hosting.
Tricky: A woman says she has spent $300 on flights to stay with her sister on Thanksgiving and finds it ‘rude’ that the sister is asking her to pay to cover hosting expenses (stock image)
The writer said that she lives on the East Coast and her sister and her husband live in Texas.
They are hosting Thanksgiving at their house for the first time, so the writer spent a little over $300 on flights to come spend the weekend — and now she’s surprised that she’s expected to spend more.
‘Now she’s asking me to pitch in $200 to help cover groceries, wine, etc. that she’s buying for the four days that my mother and I will be staying with her,’ she wrote.
‘I would have been more than happy to buy some wine or do a grocery run, but this just seems rude, especially since I am making a big effort to be there,’ she went on.
‘She’s notoriously cheap, which is why I’m extra annoyed,’ she added. ‘We both have decent jobs, so it’s not like either of us can’t spare $200 in a pinch, but it’s still a lot of money to me.’
Advice columnist Cowles agreed that the sister’s request for cash was rude — but that the writer should maybe just pay it anyway to avoid an argument.
‘My first instinct was, great! Just fork over the $200 and be done with it,’ Cowles wrote, adding that it ‘lets you off the hook for any tricky dynamics or nuanced anxieties over your obligations as a guest.’
But upon giving it more thought, she added, the writer’s sister did invite her to stay, and ‘part of hosting is showing generosity toward your guests — especially if they’ve ponied up for a plane ticket to come’
Cowles discussed the matter with Breaking Money Silence podcast host, Kathleen Burns Kingsbury, a consultant who specializes in wealth psychology, who said it’s worth having a discussion with the sister, but picking the right time to do it.
‘f I were you, I’d pay the $200 up front (painful though it may be) and consider it an investment in good sisterly relations. Then make a conscious decision to raise the topic later this week or over the phone after you leave,’ she said.