Worried woman reveals her partner spends up to two hours a day having phone chats with a younger female colleague while working from home – but he insists there’s nothing wrong with having a work friend
- British woman says boyfriend is behaving inappropriate with female colleague
- Posting anonymously on Mumsnet, explained they talk for hours each day
- Admits she may be jealous as female co-worker is significantly younger than her
- Responses were divided, as some argued their behaviour could be innocent
A woman who has become uncomfortable with how much her partner speaks to a female co-worker on the phone sought advice after he brushed off her concerns that their relationship is ‘inappropriate’.
Posting on Mumsnet, the anonymous woman, who lives in the UK, explained that she and her partner have been working from home together, and she’s noticed he makes regular calls to one colleague in particular.
She said they appear to talk and laugh endlessly for at least two hours each day about things unrelated to work.
The woman was inundated with messages from users who agree the workplace friendship seems to be crossing boundaries, while others argued it’s possible to have a friend of the opposite sex without fancying them.
A British woman has sparked a discussion about how to spot if your partner is having an inappropriate friendship with another woman (file image)
The woman took to Mumsnet, explaining her partner has been having daily phone calls with a younger female colleague
Sharing her suspicions, the woman wrote: ‘DP and I both work from home at the moment and for the past month or so, I’ve overheard some of his conversations that he’s having with colleagues. The majority of calls are just normal, short meetings from the sound of it.
‘However, there’s a particular female colleague who he appears to chat to endlessly about nothing. I’m talking about one and a half to two hours a day non-stop where they’re chatting and he’s laughing the whole time.
‘From his side of the conversation, the chat is not remotely work related. It’s about his wild teenage years, politics, his favourite food… Anything at all.
‘He claims that she’s just a friend and they’re just colleagues having a laugh with each other, and that there’s no more to it than that. I think that spending so long talking and laughing with another woman every day is really cross boundaries.’
She added: ‘I may also just be jealous because this woman is quite a few years younger than I am!’
A stream of responses agreed they too would be concerned about the friendship, with one generalising that men don’t talk about themselves at length unless they’re speaking to someone they fancy.
‘I wouldn’t like that. And I would keep an eye on it. On the surface it can be innocent. But it is worrying where it would lead,’ one wrote.
Responses warned the woman that her partner is crossing the boundaries and she should keep an eye on the workplace friendship
Another said: ‘I was like this with a colleague, we ended up married! Think it’s a bit unfair to paint the OP [original poster] as a jealous unreasonable wife resentful that he talks to female colleagues. It’s fine to chat with opposite sex colleagues obviously, but the pieces added together here don’t look great.’
Others argued they have friends of the opposite sex whom they speak to regularly without behaving inappropriately.
One person wrote: ‘Just because you don’t like it doesn’t mean it’s inappropriate! I have a male friend at work I text and talk to loads. He’s younger than me. It’s totally innocent. He is my friend! If he was chatting to a bloke you wouldn’t even think to question it. Stop worrying.’
‘I chat to a male, older, married colleague regularly for prolonged periods on the phone. We just get on and have lots to talk about. Both happily married and back in normal life we introduced our partners to each other other lunch, obviously now that’s not an option, so we just chat on the phone. Nothing secretive, nothing sexual, nothing other than people who get on chatting s*** to each other,’ another said.
A third added: ‘I’ve got a few close male friends I’d chat to for long periods every day, especially over lockdown. If I had a partner who had an issue with this, I’d probably be more inclined to lose the partner than the friends.’
Others reassured the woman that they have similar friendships with co-workers of the opposite sex without any romantic agenda