A woman who matched with her cousin’s husband on a dating app has divided opinion after asking advice on how to handle the situation without turning it into a ‘mess’.
The woman who lives in the US took to Reddit’s Relationship Advice forum, explaining that she downloaded Tinder in the hopes of finding a hook-up for when she visits her cousin.
However, she has been forced to put her trip on pause since matching with her cousin’s husband, who she’s never met in person, after he swiped right on her profile.
She was advised by many responders to tell her cousin about her husband being on dating apps before visiting, however others argued the woman should let her cousin find out from someone else to avoid being caught in the middle of their relationship.
An unnamed woman, who lives in America, has sparked a discussion about how to tell a loved one that their partner is on a dating app (file image)
The woman wrote a lengthy post to ask for advice on the situation and admitted that she’s ‘scared’ for what the scandal may do to her cousin.
She explained that her cousin isn’t in an open marriage and has a child with her husband.
Her post read: ‘I’m visiting her next week and thought I’d look around for a hook-up while I’m there. As I’m swiping through Tinder, I came across a familiar face with a familiar name.
‘I myself haven’t met this guy in person, so I screenshot the profile and confirmed it with my best friend who lives in the same town.
‘I will tell her but I want to know HOW do I bring this up? She has a kid. when do I bring it up?? If I matched with him, he obviously sees my face now, what do I do when I show up and he recognizes me?? I want to execute this as clean as possible and not make it a hot mess.
‘I love my cousin. That’s why I’m here anonymously asking strangers for help because I don’t want to screw this up.
‘So this is me, shutting my f****** mouth and pausing. I’m scared for her. I’m scared what this might do to her. This is why I can’t go in guns blazing.
Posting on Reddit, the woman explained that she matched with her cousin’s husband on Tinder after downloading the app ahead of her trip
‘I have put my visiting plans on pause for this. I haven’t met this guy in person, my cousin and I live on opposite sides on the country, meeting gets expensive for the both of us.’
The woman explained that her cousin’s husband swiped on her first and she didn’t match with him until she had confirmation that it was definitely him.
She admitted to having taken screenshots of his profile but said she hasn’t started a conversation because she doesn’t know what to say.
The woman concluded that she wants to tell her cousin about the situation, but is unsure how to phrase it.
She added:’ In the end, if she does end up resenting me, I don’t mind at all. If that’s what she needs to do, then I’ll take all her punches. I know I didn’t do anything wrong.’
One person commented: ‘Personally, I would want to know this now, not later. It sucks, but you should just call and tell her that you have come across something concerning. And tell her. Then offer to send the screenshot.
A stream of responses to the post advised the woman to send screenshots to her cousin, while others recommended telling her in person
‘I would not wait until your visit. That will be even more awkward for her, especially if she decides to kick him out or something. Let her know before you go. Who wants to worry about entertaining guests or visitors at such a time? You can tell her that you are there for her, whatever it means, and available to come out whenever is convenient for her.’
Another said: ‘When you go to visit, wait until you are home alone with your cousin or take her out somewhere private and show her everything. It would be best to do it while he’s at work or out for a long period so she can pack a bag and stay elsewhere if she wants’
Despite the flood of messages agreeing that the woman should tell her cousin about her husband being on Tinder, others advised the woman not to get involved in their relationship.
‘Someone could be using his pictures. I mean he’s using his own face on Tinder in his city, which is pretty stupid if he isn’t trying to get caught. I’ve had people use my pictures before for dating profiles it’s not as uncommon as you think,’ one wrote.
Other responses to the post advised the woman not to get involved in her cousin’s relationship, claiming it’s better if she finds out about the husband from someone else
Another commented: ‘I’m not sure what you really think, is going to happen. Could it be possible that he’s just experimenting a bit with Tinder, having a profile there, doesn’t necessarily mean that you are getting real with the ladies.
‘Maybe he wants to test his hotness factor? At least, he might say so if you confront him. I find it also problematic that you caught him by matching with you.
‘Your cousin might not buy it as a selfless act. Do you have a competitive relationship with her? You bring bad news which are not always welcome. Even if they are true.’
A third added: ‘If you don’t want to be in the middle of it she needs to find out on her own or from someone else. If she doesn’t know your friend I would use her or somehow anonymously send her the info so it doesn’t tie back to you and you don’t have to deal with any drama etc.’
***
Read more at DailyMail.co.uk