Would you tell colleague’s spouse about an affair?

When it comes to the workplace, most of us remain pretty guarded when it comes to our personal life, and are therefore likely to respect a co-workers privacy.

However, one office worker has sparked a fierce debate after questioning whether she should ‘blow the lid’ on her boss’s infidelity, while remaining anonymous.

Speaking on Mumsnet, she explained how the managing director at her company had begun an illicit relationship with a co-worker, who recently tied the knot.

While some suggested she should let their respective spouses know, many argued that she should ‘mind her own business’ and stay quiet.

A Mumsnet user has questioned whether she should tell her colleagues’ respective spouses about their affair (file photo)

The office worker explained how the married managing director had begun an affair with a co-worker, who recently got married 

The office worker explained how the married managing director had begun an affair with a co-worker, who recently got married 

Posting under the username Darnda, the original poster explained: ‘I work in an office where the MD has had affairs with several staff and other women in our industry.

‘He is married with children and most people are pretty disgusted with him but obviously no one says anything to him.’

She continued: ‘A member of staff got married last year, her husband seems like a nice guy, very sweet. She’s now having an affair with the MD. They’ve been married a matter of months.

‘I want to tell her husband/his wife anonymously about what’s happening. I know it’s not my business, I 100% understand that but would want someone to tell me rather than people laughing behind my back.’ 

Some suggested that she should tell the spouses the truth, as they themselves would want to know in the same situation 

Some suggested that she should tell the spouses the truth, as they themselves would want to know in the same situation 

One person commented that the managing director's wife may already be aware, but the other woman's husband might not know

One person commented that the managing director’s wife may already be aware, but the other woman’s husband might not know

Several Mumsnet users who had been cheated in on the past agreed, saying they'd wished that someone had told them the truth 

Several Mumsnet users who had been cheated in on the past agreed, saying they’d wished that someone had told them the truth 

Members of the parenting forum were quick to react, with some suggesting that she should tell their respective spouses about the affair.

One wrote: ‘I would want to know. I’ve told people they’ve been cheated on and after the initial shock were glad I’d told them’. 

Several Mumsnet users who had been cheated on the past agreed, with one commenting: ‘Lots of people I knew were aware and decided to “stay out of it” and I felt worse when I found out – I thought they were horrible’.  

Meanwhile, others suggested that while the managing director’s wife may already know about his infidelities, the newlywed co-worker’s husband may want to know the truth.

The majority of Mumsnet users however suggested that she should keep quiet about the affair (file photo) 

The majority of Mumsnet users however suggested that she should keep quiet about the affair (file photo) 

 

 

Many said it was 'none of her business', with one suggesting that saying something would be 'out of order'

Many said it was ‘none of her business’, with one suggesting that saying something would be ‘out of order’

Others suggested she should just 'remain professional', describing it as a 'personal matter' 

Others suggested she should just ‘remain professional’, describing it as a ‘personal matter’ 

One commented: ‘He has just married a cheat! He needs to know! Before he wastes anymore of his life on this b****!’

However, many argued the office worker should ‘mind [her] own business’ and stay quiet about the affair. 

One wrote ‘I’m not sure you should be meddling in other people’s lives’, while another commented ‘Why even consider dragging yourself into all this drama? No good will come of it.’ 

Another added: ‘It’s not your business, other people’s morals are theirs to live with. Other people’s marriages are not yours to interfere with’.

Others admitted the situation sounded 'unpleasant', but said she should change jobs rather than get involved

Others admitted the situation sounded ‘unpleasant’, but said she should change jobs rather than get involved

However, one person said it was 'ridiculous' to suggest it was 'more moral' to keep quiet 

However, one person said it was ‘ridiculous’ to suggest it was ‘more moral’ to keep quiet 

One person pointed out it would be difficult to tell the spouses anonymously, while making sure they took the claim seriously 

One person pointed out it would be difficult to tell the spouses anonymously, while making sure they took the claim seriously 



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