No one forgets their first time having sex, even if it was an awkward or unfulfilling experience.
And in an attempt to shed light on the vast first time sexual encounters girls can have, a group of young women spoke to Seventeen about losing their virginity, and how the experience felt.
Their first time confessions describe where and when they had sex, with who and how they felt afterward.
Blinded by love: Young women share the time they lost their virginity including Hafeezah who said she would have enjoyed losing her virginity if he had ‘checked in’ on her (stock image)
Hafeezah, 22
Hafeezah expected her first time to be magical and told Seventeen that it would have been more enjoyable if the guy involved was more considerate.
She said: ‘He knew I was a virgin and for some reason, I had this expectation of it being magical, which in all honesty, it wasn’t.
‘He kept his face buried in my shoulder/neck the whole time and asked if I was okay once during, which I thought was kind of inconsiderate.’
‘I think I would have enjoyed it more if he had checked in with me to see if my needs were being met, which they weren’t. At the time, I was blinded by my love, so I chose to look past that.’
Katie, 24
For other girls like Katie, their first time was shared with someone who cared about how they were feeling.
‘He told me to relax and that we didn’t have to continue if I didn’t want to, but I did. I felt a little ashamed and embarrassed because I imagined something different and I thought he was disappointed in the experience.’
‘He was so understanding and he said it was fine and that he wanted me to be okay, and that we didn’t have to continue. He made me feel better about the experience, and we are still together two and a half years later.’
Tori, 22
For Tori, her first time was with someone she was ‘crazy about’ and happened when knew she was ready.
She said: ‘I was almost 21, I was (finally) in a relationship with a guy I was crazy about, and I knew I was as ready as I’d ever be. I had waited to have sex because I wanted my first time to be with someone that cared about me and would be around to share not just the physical act, but the emotions that came with it as well.’
‘I was scared that sex would hurt, and that fear made me more tense, so even though I was happy to be sharing that intimacy with my partner, I couldn’t really relax and it hurt a bit. Afterwards, I was relieved that I’d finally gotten it over with, and didn’t know if I would ever think sex was fun.’
‘In the next weeks I learned that our culture obsesses about making the first time perfect, but chances are that the second, third, fourth, etc. times will be so much better. There’s less subconscious pressure, and you’ll learn what feels good for you.’
Tiffany, 21
Tiffany wasn’t in love the first time she had sex but that was something she had expected beforehand.
‘I wasn’t ‘in love’ or whatever, but I guess I never expected to be. He made me feel comfortable and respected, so one night, I went over and we had sex. It wasn’t awkward or weird, and it wasn’t this special magical moment either.’
‘We went to a diner the next morning for breakfast and texted my best friend group chat the link to Lonely’s Island’s ‘I Just Had Sex,’ and I think they were more excited about it than me to be honest.’
Still friends: Kelsey still talks to the guy she lost her virginity to on a hotel balcony (stock image)
Kelsey, 23
And for Kelsey, her first time was unplanned but an experience she doesn’t regret at all.
‘I was on senior week, and I was hanging out with the boy I liked. His friend was asleep in his hotel room, so we did it on the balcony. It was completely unplanned, but I’ve never regretted it. I’m still friends with the guy, too.’
Kylie, 20
Kylie was 19 when she lost her virginity and said it happened during a ‘Netflix and chill situation’ which she later felt guilty about.
‘The guy I had been talking to didn’t know I was a virgin, and I didn’t tell him because I was afraid it would scare him off.’
‘Once I got home, I felt guilty because it wasn’t how I imagined losing my virginity, and not something you get back. I cried for a little bit and then decided there wasn’t anything more I could do about it. I couldn’t change what had already happened. All in all it wasn’t terrible, and I’m not sure I would change it.’
Unromantic and messy: Bianca said her first time was in the back of a guys car at a beach concert (stock image)
Debby, 22
Debby and her boyfriend were both 17 when they had sex and waited until Christmas Eve so they would have the place to themselves.
‘We waited until Christmas Eve when his parents had left for a holiday party. I was so incredibly nervous — l think we both were. So we lit candles and took it slow. To be honest it hurt like hell. But other than that l think it was pretty perfect as far as virgins go.’
Bianca, 23
But for Bianca, her first time was ‘not romantic at all’ and happened in the back of someones car.
‘It was messy, drunk and horny. I was 17, drunk at a beach concert, called a guy that we had an on and off thing and we had sex in the back of his pickup car. Then, he went to study abroad and we never spoke about it, until like 2 years later.’
Get it over with: Lee decided to have sex with her guy friend but recommends people wait until they’re ready (stock image)
Shannon, 22
Shannon said that although she was an early bloomer, she wanted to wait until she went to college to lose her virginity.
‘I was 20 when I lost my virginity. I decided that I wanted to wait until college to lose it, but when I finally got to college, I didn’t really meet anyone that I wanted to have sex with, especially not for my first time. I ultimately decided to lose it to a guy that I really, really liked but wasn’t in a relationship with.’
‘I was just so ready to ‘get it over with,’ and this guy was (and still is) a great guy. My one regret in the entire experience is that I didn’t tell him that I was a virgin. To this day he doesn’t know! I was so scared that I was going to freak him out, but really, a lot of awkwardness could have been avoided if I’d just been honest.’
Lee, 22
Like Shannon, Lee also wanted to ‘get it over with’ so she decided to have sex with her guy friend who she had known for a while.
‘We were both virgins and just wanted to get it over with. It wasn’t pleasurable or even fun, and throughout the entire process all I could think about was, when will this be over? Moral of the story — wait until you’re really ready.’
Kayleigh, 17
Kayleigh lost her virginity when she was 15 years old to her boyfriend that was two years older than her.
She said they decided to do it after about three months of dating, which is when she knew for sure she was ready.
She said: ‘We used a condom. Honestly, I didn’t feel different after than I did before. Maybe just a little more mature. If you really think you’re ready, and you and your partner protect yourselves, it can be a really cool thing.’
Not like it she imagined: Katelyn said she was expecting her first time to be amazing but instead it was painful and didn’t last long (stock image)
Katelyn, 20
Katelyn was 16 when she lost her virginity to her boyfriend at the time who she had been dating for about eight months.
She said: ‘Things were getting serious, so we decided to do it. I was expecting it to be so nice and amazing, but instead it was so painful.’
Cassidy, 19
Cassidy’s first time happened during her freshman year of college with an upperclassman frat bro who avoided her after it happened.
‘He didn’t text me at all and when I saw him at a party the next weekend he completely avoided me. If I walked into a room and we made eye contact he would immediately turn and walk out. It felt like a huge slap in the face. I liked him, but he had finally gotten what he wanted and that was it. He was over me.’
‘I wanted nothing more than to go up to him and yell and ask him why he was being so mean to me when I had done nothing wrong, but every weekend he would completely avoid me or be talking with another girl when I walked by. I have to admit that I’m still not 100% over it or him.’
Sex isn’t a requirement: Mikayla said her boyfriend suggested they have sex to see if there was a spark between them (stock image)
Mikayla, 20
Mikayala had been dating someone for less than a month when he suggested they have sex to ‘figure out if we have a spark to continue dating.’
‘I was 18 and wanted to lose my virginity so I could fit in, but also because I really liked this guy. We had sex in a car (how romantic, right?). I was so nervous that he wouldn’t feel that ‘spark,’ but he did. At the time, I felt amazing.’
‘I thought I found the guy of my dreams and that we’d get married. We’re no longer together, but I don’t regret the experience. I just wished I had known I didn’t need to have sex with a guy for him to approve of me or continue dating me.’
Brooklyn, 22
And for Brooklyn, she felt unprepared for sex despite having an open conversation about it with her mom.
‘My mom tried to have an open and honest conversation about having sex so that I would feel less nervous when the time came.’
‘But the conversation was always about boys, never being sexual with girls, so I felt completely unprepared when I went to have sex with my girlfriend for the first time.’