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People share their lamest excuses for cancelling on friends at the last minute

What is JOMO? Rising trend sees people cancel plans last minute to embrace the joy of missing out – and you will NEVER believe their excuses

  • JOMO, joy of missing out, is seen as the exact opposite of FOMO and is trending
  • People are increasingly cancelling plans to stay home, often at the last minute
  • Psychologist Cass Dunn says cancelling plan gives us a huge rush of joy

People are sharing the ‘most ridiculous reasons they have cancelled on friends’ as the JOMO, or joy of missing out trend continues to grow.

The trend, which has been growing since the end of Covid lockdown, sees people cancelling plans at the last minute in favour of ‘doing nothing’.

Online, people have admitted to cancelling ‘because they have dandruff’, to ‘watch their plants’ or in favour of chilling with their pets. 

People have revealed some of the excuses they use in order to get out of seeing their friends

Crappy to Happy founder and psychologist Cass Dunn describes JOMO as the ‘pure enjoyment of what you’re doing in each moment without worrying what everyone else is doing’.

In essence the very opposite of FOMO, the fear of missing out.

‘There is truly no better feeling than sending that life changing text to cancel plans so you can hit the sofa instead,’ she told FEMAIL.

Adding popular activities include watching television on the couch or cuddling up with ice cream.

And it’s not just old people ditching their well-thought-out plans to stay in, in fact research by ice cream company Ben and Jerry’s suggest Gen Z lead the trend.

34 percent of the younger generation admitted to cancelling by telling their friends they had forgotten or were double booked.

While Gen X ‘feel the most relieved’ when they cancel, the stats show.

‘Three in four Australians say they have used an excuse, whether it be a truth or a lie, to cancel plans, when they wanted to stay in rather than go out.’

While half of all Australians admit they feel a rush of excitement after deciding to stay home.

Psychologist Cass Dunn says we often agree to plans without taking time to consider how we will be feeling on the day

Psychologist Cass Dunn says we often agree to plans without taking time to consider how we will be feeling on the day

People reveal their ‘craziest excuses’ for cancelling 

1 – I am too famous to leave the house

2 –  I need to stay at home to watch my plants

3 –  Sorry I can’t come, I have heaps of dandruff and need to wash my hair

4 – My cat is pregnant (said by someone who doesn’t have a cat)

5 –  My kids flooded the laundry with soap and paint and I need to fix it before it gets on the carpet or the dog

6 –  My car’s headlight aren’t working

7 –  My pet yabbies will miss me too much of I go out

Dr Dunn says this is because we often make future plans because it ‘feels good in the moment’ and don’t properly consider how we might be feeling on the day.

‘We often commit to things in the future, assuming that this future self of ours will be energetic, motivated and feeling sociable after a long week,’ she said.

‘Eventually those decisions catch up with us and we’re confronted with the reality of having agreed to do something we really would rather not.’

 This leads to inner turmoil as we are faced with two options, go out when we don’t want to or let down some one we care about, she explained.

‘When we summon up the nerve to send the text and cancel the plans, we not only experience the immediate relief but also sheer joy,’ she said.

‘We’re hit with a flood of dopamine in the reward centre of our brain and that feels really good.’

Dr Dunn wants people to feel okay to opt out of plans if they decide they don’t want to go through with them and says there should be no need to come up with an excuse of pretend to be unwell.

‘Letting ourselves off the hook can be a great act of self-care and we shouldn’t feel guilty about prioritising our own need for some down-time ,’ she said.

'We¿re hit with a flood of dopamine in the reward centre of our brain and that feels really good.'

‘We’re hit with a flood of dopamine in the reward centre of our brain and that feels really good.’

Before cancelling Dr Dunn likes to remind herself of the relief she feels when others cancel on her.

‘Sometimes the only thing more joyful than cancelling plans is having the other person be the one to cancel,’ she said.

‘So when I do the cancelling, I like to think that my friend might be just as relieved to get my text as I am to send it.’

Ben and Jerry’s are calling for the best excuses people have come up with to flake out on their friends. 

They are rewarding the winner with a Koala sofa and year’ supply of ice cream to help them make the most of their time being anti-scoial at home.

Flakey friends have until September 30 to enter the competition.

When is cancelling a bad idea? 

Opting out of Friday night drinks after work is fairly low-stakes but deciding not to show up for a special birthday dinner that’s been pre-booked or catered is an entirely different scenario and one where you might want to make the effort no matter how tempting it is to stay home.

If you’re cancelling plans a lot, it might be a sign that you need to stop making so many plans in the first place and learn some strategies for gracefully declining invitations or asking for more time before you make a commitment. A simple phrase such as, ‘That sounds great. Let me check the calendar and get back to you’ gives you time to really think about whether you want to agree to something or if you’d rather just avoid the awkwardness later and decline now.

If you’re the friend who always cancels, you risk getting a reputation for being flakey and unreliable. If you consistently let people down, eventually those social invitations will dry up, so you might want to think about rescheduling those plans or being the one to extend the invitation next time.

In extreme situations, withdrawing socially especially if your mood and energy are low can be a warning sign of a bigger mental health issue that needs attention.

Source: Cass Dunn  

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