Shawn Johnson has opened up about her struggle to be happy and optimistic during her second pregnancy, after suffering a devastating miscarriage a year and half before.
The Olympic gymnast, who returned to the gym this week for the first time since she welcomed her daughter, Drew Hazel, via C-section in October 2019, admitted that she constantly feared she’d lose the baby and had trouble celebrating.
‘It’s such a different feeling the second time around because you want to be happy and you want to be celebrating and planning out this kid’s life, but you don’t know,’ the 28-year-old mom told Today.
Candid: Shawn Johnson has opened up about struggling to feel ‘happy’ during her second pregnancy following her miscarriage. She welcomed her daughter, Drew Hazel, in October
Fear: The mom admitted she feared she’d lose the baby and had trouble celebrating her pregnancy. When people congratulated her, she’d thank them before changing the topic
Shawn and her husband, Andrew East, suffered a heartbreaking miscarriage in 2017, over a year before she learned she was pregnant with Drew.
The two were overly cautious with her second pregnancy, and she waited until she was 16 weeks along before she shared the news.
She admitted that when people congratulated her on her pregnancy, she would politely thank them and then quickly change the topic.
‘I brushed it under the rug because I was trying to protect my heart,’ she explained. ‘I don’t know how to get around that.’
Shawn and Andrew, 28, were candid about their miscarriage in the videos and posts they shared on their YouTube channel and Instagram page. They hoped that their honesty would help others who have experienced a similar loss.
Heartbreak: Shawn and her husband, Andrew, were candid about their miscarriage in the videos and posts they shared on their YouTube channel and Instagram page
Too cute: Shawn brought baby Drew to the gym with her earlier this month
Last week, the retired athlete made an epic return to gymnastics to see if she could still flip three and a half months after giving birth via C-section.
In a YouTube video titled ‘gymnastics after a baby,’ Shawn can be seen practicing her flips on a trampoline before attempting a roundoff back handspring back layout.
‘I was just curious if I could flip. I thought it would be fun to come back to see if I can. See if I rip my abdominal again,’ she joked.
Shawn said it’s been about nine months since she had done gymnastics, and Andrew and little Drew were in the gym with her to root her on.
Home away from home: The retired gymnast returned to the sport last week, three and a half months after she gave birth to Drew via C-section
Back in the groove: In a video shared on her YouTube channel, Shawn can be seen practicing her flips on a trampoline
Uncomfortable: Shawn admitted that she felt ‘weird’ and didn’t know where her weight was at when she was in the air
She had a double layout on her list of things she wanted to try, but she admitted that she didn’t think she’d be able to do it her first time back in the gym.
‘I did my first workout since Drew about a week ago and I’m still sore, and I couldn’t even really do a plank,’ she explained. ‘So I’m not too optimistic.’
Shawn warmed up by doing flips and landing on her stomach, and while Andrew was seriously impressed, she said she felt ‘weird.’
‘My air sense is off — like knowing where I am,’ she explained, and her husband pointed out that she spent nine months with an entirely different center of gravity.
Going for it: After working on her flips and handstands, Shawn pulled off a roundoff back handspring back layout on the trampoline
Practice makes perfect: Shawn was hoping to do a double layout, but she realized she wasn’t ready to attempt that just yet
‘I’m just off. I don’t know where my weight’s at,’ she said. ‘I’m gonna pee myself.’
When she moved on to doing flips onto a mat, she noted it was her toe, which she broke when she was nine months pregnant, that was bothering her.
After working on her flips and handstands, Shawn pulled off a roundoff back handspring back layout on the trampoline.
And while it wasn’t the double layout she wanted to try, it was still an incredibly impressive feat for a new mom.