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Woman who had an affair with a married man at 21 reveals why she kept seeing him

Confessions of a mistress: Woman, 21, reveals why she had an affair with a married man – and kept seeing him for more than a year

  • An Australian woman has revealed why she had an affair with a married man
  • Aged 21, she fell victim to his charm and manipulation after meeting in a bar
  • She accepted responsibility for cheating but said it was the best sex of her life
  • The affair stalled after he said ‘I love you’ but swiftly admitted regretting it
  • She fought her infatuation by sleeping with other men and being less available

An Australian woman who had an affair with a married man has revealed why she continued to sleep with him for more than a year.

Writing anonymously for Mamamia, she recalled how meeting a charming older man in a bar at the age of 21 sparked a long-running adulterous relationship, based on secret lunch dates, sneaky lies and sex in cars.

Sharing her story as a cautionary tale, the woman admitted it was the best sex of her life and naively said ‘I love you’ – an admission which signalled the beginning of the end of their cheating romance.

She fought her infatuation by dating other men and becoming less available, before ending things for good by blocking his number.

An anonymous Australian woman has shared her experience of sleeping with a married man for over a year, outlining the difficulty she faced in ending the affair (stock image)


Is it ever okay to cheat?

  • Yes 29 votes
  • No 222 votes
  • Under certain circumstances 67 votes

After striking up a conversation with an attractive 32-year-old businessman at a bar, the woman swiftly fell victim to his charms.

Despite speaking openly about his stay-at-home wife, the man asked for her number so they could ‘be friends’ and arranged a day-time cinema date where they kissed for the first time.

‘We had sex in his car a few days later. After that, we started seeing each other almost every day – he’d come to my apartment being heading home from the office and we’d have the best sex of my life,’ she said.

Addicted to the chemistry and danger, she started lying to her friends and family to hide the affair and before long fell deeply in love with him.

Their long running affair was characterised by secret lunch dates, sneaky lies and sex in cars (stock image)

Their long running affair was characterised by secret lunch dates, sneaky lies and sex in cars (stock image) 

‘One day I told him I loved him, and he said it back. After we said I love you, the sex got even better,’ she admitted, acknowledging that in hindsight, she was simply a young girl infatuated with someone who filled an insecurity she had about men.

But weeks later, he told her he regretted saying ‘I love you’, an admission which proved to be a much-needed wake up call.

She consciously fought the infatuation by becoming less available and secretly dating other people, realising that ultimately, he would continue with his family life and leave her alone.

They stopped meeting for lunch dates and confined their relationship to the bedroom, but she admitted she felt bitterness and hate towards him even during sex.

‘I’d constantly throw his marriage in his face. I’d make comments about how good men don’t lie to the mother of their children. Good men don’t cheat on their wives,’ she said.

What causes relationships to fail? 

A relationship can have many downfalls but ‘marriages often die more by ice than by fire’ says relationship expert Dr Michael McNulty.

Couples drift apart and this often leads to break-ups.

The first steps that lead to couples drifting apart in a break-up can be broken down as follows:

Stage one: More negativity than positivity seeps into the relationship.

Stage two: The four horsemen of the apocalypse – Contempt, criticism, defensiveness and stonewalling all contribute to a poisonous relationship.

Stage three: Flooding – The stage where anger starts coming out in the relationship and the partners become highly emotional.

Stage four: Emotional disengagement – After the vast amount of emotional unrest before this is where the relationships becomes stale, with both parties checking out already.

The relationship stalled when both parties began sleeping with other people, and the woman finally grew tired of the cheating husband and his lies.

‘Admittedly, it took more than one attempt to walk away from this unhealthy relationship,’ she said.

‘Anyone who has been in a toxic relationship knows how hard it is to leave. But after several tries, with pain and tears, I finally blocked his number and never spoke to him again.’

Years later, the woman admitted she still remembers the experience with sadness and embarrassment.

She cautioned others about the dangers of mistaking lust for love, saying simply: ‘It’s not worth it.’