THURSDAY, JUNE 20
Emily Maitlis has been copping unusual flak for her handling of the BBC’s chaotic first televised Tory leader debate in which the five male candidates behaved like a bunch of unruly chimpanzees.
By coincidence, we’d arranged to meet for a drink this evening in Mayfair with Anthony ‘The Mooch’ Scaramucci, President Trump’s legendarily short-lived White House Director of Communications, who lasted just six official days in the job in 2017 until he was forced to quit over an expletive-ridden interview he gave to a journalist.
Boris Johnson’s exotic private life is splashed all over the papers once again. When I interviewed him for GQ magazine a few years ago, I asked him if politicians should be judged on personal morality issues. ‘If they’re kleptomaniacs, yes,’ he replied
Scaramucci is a loud, opinionated, swaggeringly self-confident character but, of course, wasn’t even the noisiest example of that genre of male at the table.
So things quickly descended into raucous argument. ‘This is great!’ Emily announced as we talked over her yet again. ‘I really needed more incredibly macho shouty men lined up tonight or I’d have got withdrawal symptoms.’
SUNDAY, JUNE 23
Boris Johnson’s exotic private life is splashed all over the papers once again.
When I interviewed him for GQ magazine a few years ago (the one where he admitted taking cocaine), I asked him if politicians should be judged on personal morality issues.
‘If they’re kleptomaniacs, yes,’ he replied.
‘And if they’re sex maniacs?’
‘Erm… [long pause, wry smile] I don’t think so, no.’
At the end of the interview, I asked him the ultimate Boris question: ‘You can be Prime Minister but you have to give up sex – would you take the deal?’
‘NO!’ he roared, far more emphatically.
MONDAY, JUNE 24
Boris’s rival, Jeremy Hunt, appeared on Good Morning Britain today and spent much of the interview attacking Boris for his ‘cowardice’ in shirking debates and interviews.
‘I’m on your show answering questions and being honest!’ he declared. Which was true, right to the point where I asked him why he controversially wants to reduce the legal time limit for abortion from 24 weeks to 12. Hunt clammed up and repeatedly refused to answer, insisting it’s a ‘personal view’, and, because it’s not something he would ever seek to change if he were Prime Minister, he doesn’t have to explain his belief.
I found this a very strange response for someone so proud of ‘answering questions and being honest’. It’s also nonsense; if you want to run the country, voters are entitled to know why you hold ALL your beliefs.
But there’s surely a bigger point here: if Hunt feels that strongly about abortion time limits, why WOULDN’T he seek to change them if he became PM?
TUESDAY, JUNE 25
To Lord’s for England’s big World Cup cricket clash with Australia.
When I arrived in my friend’s box, I was swiftly informed Nigel Farage was lurking in the one next door to us, so went to greet him. ‘Nigel!’ I exclaimed.
‘Piers!’ he replied with equal gusto.
All we needed was a Tarquin to join us in a group hug to cement most people’s – erroneous – assumptions about the type of people who enjoy cricket.
‘Interesting times,’ I chuckled.
‘VERY interesting,’ Farage chuckled back.
‘So, I have a theory,’ I continued.
‘Go on…’
‘I think you’re going to sit back and watch Boris cock it up by failing to get a new Brexit deal so triggering a general election in which he loses to Corbyn. Then you’ll sit back again and watch Corbyn cock it up even worse than Boris, swiftly triggering another general election. At which point, you’ll mobilise your Brexit Party forces, ride into Parliament on a white horse like King Arthur, clutching an Excalibur sword and announcing you’ve come to save Britain. You’ll win by a landslide and become Prime Minister.’
Farage, clutching a glass of champagne, stared at me for several long seconds, digesting my theory. Then he guffawed with laughter and patted me firmly on the back.
‘Well Piers, let me put it like this: stranger things have happened…’
While we watched England dismally lose to the Aussies, my fearless GMB colleague Pip Thomson cornered Boris at an event in Surrey. ‘Do you fancy coming on GMB soon?’
‘Yes,’ he replied.
‘Is that a promise? I’m going to have Piers Morgan asking me.’
‘Tell Piers we’ll definitely do it. I love Piers!’ Time will tell if we can trust Boris to keep his promises, especially to those he loves.
WEDNESDAY, JUNE 26
As debate continues to rage over whether I’m a psychopath, I attached a 300-volt ‘shaming’ wristband – designed to curb bad habits – to Susanna Reid live on GMB, and deliberately electrocuted her.
I then howled with laughter as she shrieked in pain, and gave her a few more blasts.
‘Congratulations,’ said a still-quivering Susanna during the next commercial break. ‘You’ve now removed any doubt as to whether you’re a psychopath.’
To celebrate, I had breakfast with media goddess Tina Brown at White City House.
Sitting near by was actor Damian Lewis, who’d also been at Lord’s yesterday in an even more high-powered box containing Prince Edward, David Cameron, and rock stars Ed Sheeran and Muse frontman Matt Bellamy.
I bemoaned to him the fact that England recently dropped batsman Alex Hales from the World Cup squad for personal cocaine-related offences, thus depriving us of a potential match-winner. ‘You have to manage wayward gifted performers, not dump them,’ I said.
This sparked a lengthy and fascinating debate about leadership in anything from politics to sport and theatre, and how far troublesome individuals should be tolerated.
We all agreed that team spirit is important to success, but also that harnessing great talent, even if egotistical and erratic, is just as important.
‘There may be no ‘i’s in ‘team’, I said, ‘but there are three in ‘winning side’.’
‘The bottom line is this,’ Lewis eventually declared. ‘You put up with d***heads if they’re worth it.’