A man’s honest admission about how he really feels about his girlfriend’s weight has landed him in some seriously hot water.
Interviewed anonymously by Humans of New York, an unnamed man who is thought to live in the city, candidly revealed that, although he loves his girlfriend of a year and a half, he is not attracted to her because of her size.
But not everyone appreciated his honesty, and his controversial confession has sparked a furious outpouring from the photoblog’s legion of loyal fans.
Candid confession: The man was interviewed anonymously by the Humans of New York photoblog
Pathetic pants: Lots of people commented on the man’s cargo trousers
Been there, done that: Fans of the Facebook page offered their advice
Suspicious: Some felt the man was with his girlfriend for the wrong reasons
‘At first I told myself I could get past it. I said, ‘Let’s just see how it goes.’ We had excellent dates. Everything else about her was exactly what I wanted,’ he said.
He continued: ‘I didn’t want to ruin something good for that one little reason. But it’s been 1.5 years. And I feel horrible, but I just can’t get past it. And I feel like a bad person for being bothered by it.’
Alluding to the fact that there are problems in his relationship, the man who was pictured sitting in one of the city’s parks, shared that they are also in couple’s therapy.
He concluded: ‘I can’t bring myself to tell her. We’re going to couple’s therapy next week, but I still don’t think I’ll be able to say it. Is there any right way to ask someone to lose weight for you?’
Started by Brandon Stanton as a photography project in 2010, Humans of New York has since gained over 18 million followers on Facebook, and fans of the page were quick to respond to the post, with the majority calling the man out.
Sarah Ann Martin said: ‘You are so shallow. Just end it. If she’s perfect and you can’t get over the weight issue – you’re the issue. You just wasted her time and possibly messed her up for a long time. My guy is big with a big ol belly and I think he’s the sexiest man I ever met. Because I don’t see his body I see HIM.’
And Felicia-Marie Gauthier echoed this sentiment writing: ‘No. Just no. If you weren’t attracted to her, why date her for almost two years in the first place? Break up with her now and give her the chance to find someone who truly deserves her, who will love her and be attracted to her just as she is. Neither of you are going to be happy going on like this.’
Fan Lindsay Schear felt particularly angered by the post, calling the man an ‘asshole’, adding ‘you will never find love if all you see is the outside. Sorry buddy but you blew it. She could have been “the one”. But you are obviously too superficial and too immature.’
Time waster: Some people wanted to know why he started dating her in the first place
Not good enough: Others felt it wasn’t his place to humiliate her by being honest
Fashion victim: The comments about his choice of attire kept coming
Sympathy vote: One man on Instagram empathized with him
On Instagram where over seven million people follow the Humans of New York profile, user @alisonlanza took a swipe at the man’s own appearance, writing, ‘a lot to say for a dude in cargo pants’.
However, some commenting on the post took more of a sympathetic view, and empathized with the man.
Cindy Zabawa said: ‘I have been there. I kept telling myself to not be so petty about another person’s physical appearance. But you can’t make yourself be attracted to another person if it’s not there it’s not there. Took me two years to recognize that.’
While Renee McDonald added: ‘You deserve to be with someone you are attracted to, and she deserves to be with someone who loves her exactly as she is. I really wish you hadn’t let it go on this long though. That wasn’t fair to her. But to let it go on any longer is worse. You could have prevented her from meeting someone who truly loves her. End it now. It’s the kindest thing you can do for her.’
And Lotta Eveliina Klemetti called out those who were being negative asking the group, ‘why are so many people so rude? He actually TRIED to get past it, for 1,5 years! If he can’t, he can’t, but it doesn’t make him a bad person’.
She went on to write: ‘What should he have done, not date her at all because of her weight? He did a good thing here, giving a chance to a person that didn’t fit his standards. Some people wouldn’t even try to make it work. I appreciate this guy.’
On Instagram, @michael.campenella offered the man some advice: ‘Don’t listen to the hateful comments. If you love your girlfriend telling her to lose weight for you is for her own well being. That might be the motivation she needs to be healthy. Plus a relationship is about compromise and if you want her to look the way you look for her there is nothing wrong with saying that.’