We often see people around us going on dates, getting proposals, and getting invited to weddings, but not so often for some of us. Some people seem to be lucky in finding love, but the majority of us have to struggle. It’s not easy for a cis person to find their soulmate. It’s even tough for a trans.
But that doesn’t mean it’s impossible, it may take time and effort, but it will eventually happen. There is someone for everyone. We all need to love and be loved, to cherish, and to hold. Love, true love, is a beautiful thing, and like all good things, it doesn’t come easy.
8 Steps to Finding Love as a Trans Woman
Understand Yourself F
There is so much going on for a trans woman that people might not know. Before setting out to look for the love of your life, it is wise first to explore self-awareness; understand who you are and what you are going through. Do you want to meet your spouse before transitioning or after the transition? Will you come out clean or wait after treatment before letting your potential partner know what you are going through? There are hormone issues and effects of surgery to go through. Would you want to go through it with your partner or not?
Prepare Your Mind for the Journey A
The journey to finding love is a bumpy one for a transwoman. You are going to face so many risks, such as rejection, landing in the hands of a fetish, a possibility of violence, and the question of if and when to disclose that you are a trans woman. Preparing your mind will protect you from disappointments and better place you to face what may come along the way. Please don’t get personal when rejected. You are not to blame for something you are not in control of, but sadly that is not how the world operates. Rejection is part of the process, so brave yourself.
Define What You are Looking for
Before anything else, you are a person. You have feelings, desires, interests, and ambitions. You deserve the best. So, set a standard of what you are looking for in a partner that will complement, and highlight the best in you and make you happy. Do you want a cis person or a trans for a partner? What traits would you like to find in a potential spouse? It’s okay to want the best for yourself, don’t settle for less. We all deserve to be treated right. It’s time to focus on what you desire as a trans woman. Are you going to date someone because they want or because you want to be with that person?
“No matter how hard it is to be alone, being with somebody who does not accept you will be more painful in the long run”.
Be Yourself
The secret to a fulfilling long-term relationship is to be yourself; it is hard to pretend to be someone you are not. Let your suitor love you for who you are. Be yourself. If someone does not like the reality of who you are, honey, drop them like they are hot. It won’t take rocket science to know if your date is into you or not.
Network
Your soul mate will not drop down from somewhere through your bedroom window. It takes effort. As a transgender, your dating pool is already small, so it is prudent to cast your net wide. Participating in activities where you are likely to interact with many people will increase your chances of meeting someone special. Going out with friends is also a great way to meet new people. Joining a transgender dating site is a sure way to interact with the trans community, and who knows, you might meet the love of your life.
Dating is one of the hardest things to go through as a transwoman, but you deserve love like any other person.
Take Your T
It might take time before you finally meet the one. Don’t be in a hurry to find love. Your clock in life is different from another person’s, and your life story is unique. Don’t be too hard on yourself. There is no wrong or right time to fall in love. Rushing might land you in the arms of a fetish or abusive person. Some trans women met their spouses within weeks while some waited several years before they met their soul mates. So, it’s worth waiting for someone who deserves you and treats you with respect.
Be Happy
Happy people attract people around them. Keep yourself busy doing things you love. Work on yourself and focus on your happiness as an individual first before getting into a relationship. When you are happy and complete, joy will flow naturally, even with another person. Happiness is magnetic and contagious. No one wants to be with a dull sulky person who is wallowing in self-pity. You can’t give what you don’t have; love yourself first.
Be Confident
Few things are as attractive as a confident human being. Confidence commands attention. People will want to know who you are and identify with you. Lack of confidence will trap you in a bad relationship. You will continuously need someone to validate you to make you feel important. Confidence will let you let go of a bad relationship because you know your worth as a person. When you are confident, you won’t feel you need to be chosen as society expects of a woman.
Confidence doesn’t just happen. It is something you work on knowing who you are and what your value is. There is still a lot of stigma facing trans women; thus, you need a lot of confidence, especially when it comes to trans dating. You are unique and special. You deserve love.